January 29, 2010

It's Private

For some reason I'm still up at 2 AM on a school night. More inexplicable is that Larry King Live is playing in the background. They're talking about John Edwards and the whole affair/sex tape/wife with cancer/two-year old love child fiasco and it got me thinking about the nature of relationships and how intensely personal they are. In some relationships that I've been in the abnormal seemed completely normal and really worked. I've been in relationships that seem completely normal but turn out to be, for lack of a better term, psychotic. Now, I'm not saying you can't judge John Edwards, you can. Knocking up some broad while your wife is home with incurable cancer WHILE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT is just plain sleazy.

There is a lot of gray area though. Sometimes a relationship based on using each other can work exceptionally well as long as you're both getting what you want. To be honest I've had better experiences (from a mental health standpoint) with that sort of relationship than I've had with the kind where you're insanely crazy about each other and dream of being together forever. I've been the cute couple that seem so good together but will go home after the party to fight, fuck and hate each other. I've been the guy that didn't give a shit that a bunch of guys were hitting on my girlfriend but then spent all the next day being lazy and watching movies with her. You never can tell what works so why do we all seem so insistent on analyzing everyone's relationship when it's none of our fucking business? It's wrong, we'll never know what its like between those two people.They have their own desires, wants and rules that are completely independent of our personal moral codes.

I'm still watching Larry King Live and the infamous Ted Haggard is on with his wife. Despite this rant I still can't help wondering what their relationship must be like. Human beings are so terribly nosy, we can't help it.
 Image taken from: http://www.getentrepreneurial.com/2008/09/


  1. Hi Christopher! thanks for your comments. I do love reading them.
    Well, I just love your post. I'd love to have your opinion on Larry King. What do you think makes him to be the best. Which element he has against the others?
    Have a great time!:)

  2. I really needed to read this. I'm always judging relationships based on what I see in "first impressions". I should know by now that relationships have no rules really. We are different, like different things, and as someone looking on the outside I should honor that instead of being judgmental and thinking that their relationship will not work out. :)

  3. Relationships fascinate me endlessly. I even took a psychology of relationships class in college, but even after that there are so many exceptions. It's hard to say what makes a relationship work or not work. Your ponderings were definitely interesting!

  4. Betty: To be honest I don't like Larry King at all, that was mostly sarcasm.

    Alydia: Glad to help.

    Pseudonym: Sounds like an interesting class,.

  5. I love how you put it. Relationships really are the randomest things... You never know where each may get you and you can never judge others'.

  6. Well said, good man. Although, I'm pretty much clueless about couple relationships. I've had all of one in my life. Perhaps that is why I'm so insanely curious about others'?

    Still, Larry King at 2 AM? That's insomnia for you. Would've knocked me out in a lickety split. Those suspenders are enough to make me close my eyes.

  7. This was a great post. I think we are all in relationships because we are getting out of it what we want. If we aren't, it isn't going to work. I think it's easy for others to judge from the outside. But it isn't fair to do so. We can all be fucked up one way or the other.

    Hmm... I love this post.... now try to get some sleep :)

  8. I grew up being told 'marry your best friend'. No one ever said to make sure you had good taste in friends. Relationships go so far beyond love, so far beyond friendship in their complexities. Hence why we can never see them black and white, why we can't ever know on the exterior what makes up the interior.

    PS - on a side note, I had the great pleasure of listening to Elizabeth Edwards speak about grief and loss at the Women's Conference - they had lost a child a decade or so ago, and she contributed richly to the conversation.

  9. I agree with you....we are nosy. I usually find that when I am overly concerned or curious about others, it's because I'm avoiding dealing with something in my own life that I need to deal with. Ugh. Did I just admit to that? ;)

  10. Alydia has a point, like in Fight Club, the movie,

    'the rule is there are no rules'.

    There is no 'Idiot's Guide to Love'. I know, I Googled.

    You are right, humans are fascinated with relationships (just as well really or we might forget, stop having sex, stop making babies and become extinct.)


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