Asking my pre-school teacher if she was single.
Breaking up with ******.
Not breaking up with ******.
During my interview for the University of Chicago for their political science program I talked about how I’ve always been an avid reader of newspapers and followed current events very closely. She asked what I thought about what was going on in China right now and I froze and said I didn’t know. Thank God for state universities.
Having a rake fight.
Getting caught masturbating at the age of 12 by my grandpa while watching an episode of Murphy Brown.
Challenging my foe to a rematch because I lost the first rake fight. I looked like I’d been attacked by Wolverine for a week.
Listening to a voicemail at work whilst extremely hung-over and finding out that I not only had a new fiancé but somehow had acquired a number of investment condos. Oh, and that I couldn’t get it up the night before. Seriously, every time I go out I ask some girl to marry me.
Thinking about which places I’d loot first on December 31st, 1999.
Voting for Rod Blagojevich, twice.
Posting this blog.