February 18, 2010

Redemption II

It's so much easier to see ourselves in black and white. Maybe I'm dull, but my favorite color is gray. We human beings see patterns in everything. It's the only way to convert an ever expanding universe into a digestible morsel. We build up these black and white worlds in our minds and apply them to everything we see and do. At times we overlay those distorted patterns over our own lives and conclude that we are bad rather than recognizing a number of poor decisions for what they are. If we aren't careful the mistakes we make in life will overwhelm us and we'll start to foolishly think that we are some kind of soulless monsters. We all have regrets. We've all done things we'd take back if we could. But, we can't think we're all rotten just because we've done some questionable things. If we really were bad we would be indifferent. Bad people don't feel guilt. Bad people don't feel remorse. Bad people don't seek redemption.

We do.
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Image taken from: http://www.blogto.com/artists/upload/2008/11/20081124-ForgiveYourself.jpg

10 comments:

  1. Christoper Robin, I no like-y shades of gray. I was always more of a black or white type person. Now, I am all the vibrant, bright colors of fuschia, pink, orange, white, green, purple....Ha ha. Surely I am poking fun at you. I don't like to delve too far, into things in my past I've done wrong; It hurts to think I've been so poor of a person as to cause harm to another. At the same time I want to release the many people who have injured me, so grievously. Which, is a lot harder than it sounds. Some people don't let you forgive them, because they absolutely believe they've done nothing wrong....But, I know unless I let go of past issues; My own past issues won't dissolve into the nothingness it should be. I spent a big chunk of my life dealing with people either being 'on' or 'off' in my life. I always give forgiveness; I rarely give second chances. People have to truly change their thought patterns, beliefs and behaviors. Which, I think, is rarely-truly done unless they are committed to truly loving-liking and respecting another as they do and should themselves. To feel bad, about making a choice is one thing; To make an effort to change that behavior is another. I think, it is the greatest way to honor life, and the goodness of it. This world will pass away and what we take with us, is the goodness we've done and accepted. I know, I was not always a believer in anything. But, I love people, to watch and listen and be around people. And, to do that one must be open to the wonders and faults of people. Because, I know I'm just as likely to make a wrong choice, as anyone out there. But, often, I don't waste my time, with people I know who have not truly changed. Greed is greed. A lie is a lie. Stealing is stealing. To forgive is divine. But, to walk back into the mine field to take it all back to oneself...Nada Nada enchilada. Life is too precious, to valuable.

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  2. Very well written. I like your thinking. Personally, I have done many bad things, and I am not a bad person.

    Outside of sociopaths, I believe most of us fall in to this category.

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  3. i feel like a rotten person some days. lunchtime doubly so.

    also, thanks for the comment about my pictures. i have a shit ton more, but those were just some i had edited. i mean, i know that 98% of my friends are guys, but i need some girlfriends, or i at least need to post more pictures with girlfriends, because after i looked over them again i wondered how bad it looked that most of my pictures were me with men.

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  4. Very true. We are human and we all make mistakes. This is why I am such an easy going person. If I wasn't I'd be all stressed out at all the dumb and stupid things I've done.

    It's not worth living that way...

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  5. I would rather be bad some days if it meant not feeling it. That was a good post. I guess you're right. It's a good thing we feel it.

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  6. So true. Bad people don't feel any remorse. Their heart is set in stone.

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  7. The Me: I'm a real people person too. I've gotten good at getting past people's faults because I'd be bored as hell if I didn't.

    Christine: Yea, forgiving yourself for bad things is often much harder than forgiving someone that wronged you, from my point of view anyway.

    Ashlie: At lunchtime? I'm the opposite. I generally feel good anytime there is good food around. Mmmmmmmmmmmm food.

    Tiffany: Yea as I've matured I have become wayyyyyy more laid back. I used to be really intense all the time and it probably took 10 years off my life. Now I try to pick my moments.

    Eva: It still sucks when we have to feel it though. Sometimes it'd be nice to become a sociopath for a week or so.

    P.T: Yea, if you think you're rotten you're probably not.

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  8. Sometimes black and white is easy. Easy to compartmentalize things. Gray is a difficult concept to grasp, and sometimes difficult to maintain. Sometimes black and white helps us say, "I'm going to hell anyway, so what's the difference?" And yet, it's strange how the shades of gray can help us understand we're not so bad, that others aren't so bad. Sometimes gray is easy, too.

    Which is better? Probably whichever is the most difficult to accept in any given situation.

    Don't know if any of this makes sese. It's nearly 3AM. I totally deserve a bit of leeway.

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  9. Hey Christopher!!!

    I like 'If we really were bad we would be indifferent.'

    I've know many 'indifferent' people in my time. I would say they are more damaged than bad. I like where you are going with this ...

    I've made many poor decisions ... but I don't feel guilty ... Does that make me bad, like you say? You are right life's not black and white.

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  10. Carol: It makes perfect sense. And for 3AM it's downright impressive. I guess I'm not the only one with sleep issues around here.

    Sharon: A caveat I hadn't thought about.

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