February 20, 2010

Redemption

People tell me I’m bad. Mostly, they tell me I’m good. How do you respond to comparisons with darkness? You don’t. I see the darkness, I don’t fight with it. Deep down I know my soul is pure. You can’t be good unless you think you’re good. You can be bad because of a rumor or two, it doesn’t take much. I battle with my convictions, I shouldn’t. I know what I am. I’m not 19 and confused anymore, I understand my essence. Why should anyone doubt themselves? Doubt isn’t rational. I know myself better than I’ll ever know another. I don’t need God to judge me, I hold the scales. I’ve done more good in my life than I could ever destroy. I only dwell on the negative because I’m a perfectionist. Ten toes, ten fingers. Count them. Does the evil outweigh the compassion? Does darkness travel faster than the speed of light? No. Why torture yourself? You don’t believe in karma yet you always talk about it. You’re batting over .500 at least. Doesn’t that mean you won’t be a cockroach in the next life? You don’t believe in reincarnation either. You only believe in things you don’t understand when you don’t understand the things you believe. I’m a good person. Ninety-nine percent of the people you know are good people. Only a third believe they are good. Why is pessimism so rampant? Hitler and Stalin were outliers. The vast majority of people you know or have heard about had good intentions. Clichés tell you about good intentions but, you don’t believe in hell either. We are here. We are all here. We are good. You hear that? We are good. Self-loathing and self-doubt won’t help us. The tragic sounds prettier, it isn’t. There is no reason to ever doubt yourself. What else is there to have faith in? Don’t dwell on the faults because they aren’t your fault. They were part of your path.
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Image taken from: http://www.celestial-art.net/wallpaper-digital-art-fractal-the-redemption.jpg

10 comments:

  1. The only thing I hate about myself is the way I can't control my eating and smoking habits. Other than that it's all about loving me.

    You did raise some good points in this post though. Food for thought I guess...for me at least...

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  2. it's a trip how when people tell us we are good that many of us look down, look away, deny, or otherwise become uncomfortable. someone once said 'the bad stuff is easier to believe'. guess that's why i go for my monthly dose of mental massage, gets me balanced when those words of negative come up.

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  3. It's the nature of the beast to be down on ourselves...and women WAAAAY moreso than men, I think.

    It's the same curse that allows us to remember the bad things ppl have said to us, but to forget all the good. One bad comment stays with us forever.

    Anyone who can figure out how to change this behavior will make a fortune...

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  4. P.T: Yea, food is the most addictive substance in the universe. If we don't get a few fixes everyday we're in trouble.

    Avy: Thank you.

    Eco: Balance in life is key. I've had to learn that lesson the hard way.

    Kathryn: Yea, women are all nuts! Just kidding, mostly. Hmmm sounds like a good money making scheme.

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  5. I think I need to start telling myself this. Deep down I know good people can do bad things. Some days it's hard to look at the bad things and still look at yourself as a good person. This was such a wonderful post.

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  6. I don't need God to judge me either.

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  7. Christopher, I just love this post!I also love your writing style. I know exactly what you mean.
    I don't really need God to judge me either.
    And yes, I am a perfectionist, too.
    Have a great Sunday!
    Betty :)

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  8. Eva: I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    little bird: Yea, I don't really need anyone judging me.

    Betty: Thanks a lot, glad we relate.

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  9. Beautiful words Chris, I'm usually a very cynical and pessimistic person, but you've lighted a candle of positivity inside me. Thanks man :)

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