March 19, 2010

Odd Day

Apparently I'm a suspect in a murder. They didn't drag me away in cuffs or anything but it was still scary. Innocent or not it still doesn't look good to have some detectives show up at work. I haven't even been in this job that long, imagine the rumors. "They're talking to the new guy about some murder, he seemed so normal too." Yea, don't see any office romances queuing up for me anytime soon. Hell, I'll be surprised if I ever even have a one-on-one meeting again. I wouldn't want to be in the same room as someone accused of murder, would you? At this point I don't even feel like being around myself. I haven't smoked pot in quite a while, but right now I could seriously use a joint. Isn't life stressful enough on it's own? I've already got issues. Just because some girl I fucked turned up dead I've gotta turn my whole life upside down? She wasn't even that hot.

It was kind of cool in a way though. I felt like I was on an episode of NCIS or something. I realized there's a third reason for using condoms today. I don't have to worry about Gibbs going crazy with that black light all over her apartment. It's a joke people, too soon? She had these big brown sad eyes and now that I'm thinking of them it's making me really sad. I thought she was special until I heard about the way she runs around. Honestly, it serves her right. The odds are if you bring home random guys every night one of them will turn out to be a killer sooner or later. I was so pissed when I found out. We were out having drinks when she ran into some old fling. I could tell there was something between them by the way he smiled at her. He left, or so I thought. He must have snuck into the woman's bathroom and then surprise, surprise she had to go to the bathroom. She came out smiling and laughing. Laughing at me. When you possess a woman the way I possessed her it's easy to tell when she'd just been fucked. The whore, that's what she gets. She was useless really. My mother told me she was nothing but trouble but I didn't listen. I usually always listen to mother. I'm such an idiot. She was such a bitch. She didn't even want to meet mother. She probably felt guilty because she knew she was a skank and mother would've been able to tell. Oh well, it's all over now. She won't be tormenting me anymore.

18 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. This is intense... But I hate girls like that too. However, getting killed isn't what anyone deserves. :( But yeah, I'm guessing it makes you feel better. I'd hate to be with a guy like that

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  3. Wow! I love NCIS but when you're treated like a suspect it's not pretty.

    That's one story in your kitty that you can regale your grand-kids with... ;p

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  4. Just for the record everyone I'm not a suspect in a murder. This is all just made up stuff. No way a lawyer would let me post this on a blog if I was.

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  5. Wait, seriously? Or is there some kind of writing experiment I don't know about?

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  6. I enjoy reading your blog. I have a true, vaguely similar story to yours. Once, at the office I was working, my boss comes up to me and says, puzzled, "Jay... there's someone from the Department of Defense here to see you."

    I was puzzled too, but it turns out he was doing a background check on an old friend of mine who had applied for a job in the Pentagon. After a lengthy interview, I went back to my desk. My boss and others asked, "What was THAT all about??" For once in my life I thought quickly on my feet and said, "I'm not at liberty to say..."

    They left me alone after that. :-)

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  7. You are a masterful writer. My favorite part was how you talked about knowing she fucked someone because "When you possess a woman the way I possessed her it's easy to tell when she'd just been fucked". But it's bitter because if you truly possess someone, they wouldn't fuck anyone else would they? I wouldn't think so anyway. You had me going with this one. I thought it was real until I read the comment.

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  8. dude you've embraced creepy in this one.

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  9. Coulda fooled me. Really. Maybe I'm just gullible.

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  10. I just don't know what to make, and take and believe about you...are too funny. I do love, NCIS...I kinda knew, it was turning around with the line, "She wasn't even that hot." Because, my immediate response was, "Man, I hate that. Go to all of that trouble, to see someone naked and let them see your goodies. And, it doesn't even turn out to be worth it." I did have a hard time, with the line, "Always listen to mother." That sounded too creepy, to be you. It sort of makes, you ask yourself how much do you really know someone...I mean, really, when I'm on the bus I look at people and wonder what deep dark secrets do they keep to themselves...and, what kind of crime maybe has someone committed....Especially, since on the way to campus one day a discussion between these men, I learned they lived in a 1/2 way house....Not to jump to the worst conclusion, but I didn't like the way some of them were looking at some teen girls who got onto the bus....And, one girl who had no clue...just was going to get on the bus to go from point A to point B----Hopped on the bus, she was young, beautiful and she was wearing shorts...and she just plopped down right next to this man...who was one of the ones to say he was in a 1/2 way house....How much do you really know people? Ehhh, I'm tired, hungry...and, gotta get some rest. Good post...

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  11. I love how you suck me in like, Whoa! I know a suspect in a murder. :)

    And then, yeah, it's just made up.

    You totally string me along! Round of applause.

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  12. Love that you had to come back on and make a public service announcement that this is made up. Kudos to your writing skills. Kinda makes you wonder what you could get people to believe, doesn't it?

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  13. I can't really bring myself to reply to all of your comments but I truly appreciate all of them. It's just too weird. I'm glad you all believed that I made it up though, I think.

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  14. Really nice write up Chris. It caught us all in the beginning and then gradually went down a narrower and narrower path. Looks like you caught a lot of readers crawling through. I liked the story.

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  15. Hey, I know I'm always referring to your post style on books that I've read (maybe I need to stop reading so many books?) - your protagonist reminds me of Fight Club and the anti-hero (played by Ed Norton in the movie) who never had a name ... Then your line:

    'I usually always listen to mother'. Reminds me of Bates and Psycho. Creepy very creepy.

    You are a novelist in the making :)

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  16. Okaaaay and now I can breathe a sigh of relief because I seriously thought that was real for a second and I was really not liking you that much.

    Well done for being incredibly convincingly creepy - I'm guessing that was the point yeah?!

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