March 26, 2010

Playful

I let her take a drag off my cigarette. Her hands are, shall we say, restricted. I wipe the sweat from her brow. It's been dripping into her eyes, they're all watered up. I see my reflection in her fear, it excites me. I smirk and think to myself "that's the least of her problems." I look into her eyes, my fingers toy with the key to her pleasure. At that moment I know she loves me. At that moment I know it'll never be the same again. Do you remember play-doh? You put the play-doh into the cheap plastic machine and add the mold. You push the lever down and whatever you molded comes out. It comes out in stars, triangles and squares. Whatever mold you choose appears. After a few molds pop out and you get them between your fingers you realize how fragile they are. You get the mold of a heart between your thumb and pinky finger and crush it. Feel the way it squishes; feel the way it transforms to a worthless ball without meaning.

You think you're different? So did blue, so did red, so did green and so did gray. They all got smashed together into a forgettable ball called ex. What makes you so special? I don't have to be nice to you. I won't be nice to you. IF, and that's a big IF, I choose to be nice to you it's because your ass has a unique curve. It's because your mouth lacks a gag reflex. It's because I can call you without hearing any useless bullshit.

I'm a monster. I know what I am. If you want to pretend I'm a vampire with sparkly skin that's your mistake. I'll suck out your life-force without regret and I'll make sure you recognize your own naivete before I steal your last breath. You have an inflated sense of purpose. You spend your time wondering if you'll fit into this or if you'll look fat in that but no one really cares. You ask those questions because you're insecure. I pray for the insecure. I prey on the insecure. I'll devour you. I'll wrap my fingers around your throat and make you beg for more. Go ahead and act offended, you know you want it. You're a silly girl and I'm here to violate you. I will violate you, you'd be disappointed if I didn't.

7 comments:

  1. Wow! This post is awesome! The way you play with words had me enthralled.

    No wonder I like your blog! ;p

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  2. That sounds about right. Bad guy whose going to hurt, make cry or break a girls heart + me =Attraction, love, devotion....Lovely Christopher Robin. I like how it flows, rolls and it kinda makes my heart of hearts twinge with a distant familiar bittersweet feeling....Have a good weekend.

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  3. Love your writing. I likes the, "I pray for insecure. I prey on the insecure." Brilliant!

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  4. This was gut wrenching. I loved every bit of it. The feeling of having power over someone is unmatched, especially when that power is love. So often we use it against others or have it used against us. This is amazing.

    "I know what I am. If you want to pretend I'm a vampire with sparkly skin that's your mistake." This line in particular spoke volumes. So often we enter love blind and use our own fantasy about who the other person is to build something that doesn't really exist. And when that delusion is powerful enough, it doesn't matter if one party is honestly confessing that they can never be what the other one wants. It's already too late.

    Not sure if I am making sense so I should stop now :)

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  5. oh how cute i think i dated you in my 20's!

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  6. I love all the pretty girls dangling from your pen...~grins~

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