April 24, 2010

Nightmares

She sent me a letter, a video was enclosed. I watched it, thinking it was for me. It was for me alright but it wasn’t made for me. I saw her in bed, laying there, looking beautiful. Her eyes focused on the camera, focused on me. What a beautiful girl. The camera zoomed out a little too fast, it made everything blurry. Things started to come into focus, I could see her entire body. Naked, exposed, sexy as hell. Then things became clear. Someone took a razor blade and drew designs deep into her depraved flesh. She looked like she’d been tattooed with a butcher knife. I recoiled in horror, terrified of what had been done to my little angel. She looked up at the camera, at me, and smiled. She turned playfully to her side, exposing her right arm enough to let me read it. ‘Diagnosis’ was carved into her arm. I searched for a meaning and couldn’t find one. She smiled again and the camera shook. It came into focus, I wiped my eyes. She was on top of another man. Joyfully riding him the way I’ve seen her on top of me so many times. I was in denial, terrified. I thought it might have been our old home movie. Some tape I’d discarded and left under my mattress. She rolled off him and underneath was another man, beaming. He stole the look she used to give me. Devastation set in, fear overcame me. I thought about all of my sins, all of my shortcomings and all of my mistakes. Luckily it was just a dream, but if I don’t pull it together it’ll become a real life nightmare. I’ve seen  my demise, it’s up to me to destroy it.

7 comments:

  1. great visual in your words, i hear music in my mind when i read them. mixed emotions. lovely.

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  2. Yikes, what a terrible dream. I hope it wasn't real. I've had some really awful, but oh so vividly real ones. You've painted your dream for us in words, Christopher. Nicely done, but whoa. Scary. What a relief to finally wake up from that.

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  3. That was vivid. Nightmares are the worst, I've been having too many of them lately. It's very true though, we have the ability to mold our future to prevent our nightmares from becoming our reality.

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  4. Eco: Glad you think so.

    Carol: Yea, it shocked the hell out of me. Now that I'm reading this dreams book I've been paying more attention to them.

    Eva: Yea, I generally don't have them and when I do I hardly remember them. That's part of made this one striking.

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  5. Dude, that's a hard core nightmare. The imagery, stinking indeed.

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  6. STRIKING indeed...sorry.

    I have auto grammar/spell check...and I didn't catch it in time. I'm sorry.

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  7. I love your style of writing. I really hope you land a good book deal coz' you have a way with words! Sometimes I get weird dreams like these too, mostly they don't even make any sense but I spend the whole day thinking about them!

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