October 16, 2010

First 250

This is for Elle's first 250 word blogfest. This is something I've been leaving and coming back to for a few years now. It's supposed to be the beginning of my dystopian novel but we'll see if it ever gets farther. Click here to see the rest of the entrants.
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"Oh, Fariha, my dear, you look stunning tonight. The only thing more impressive than your beauty is your biting wit."
    "Richard you're terribly charming and the only thing more impressive than that sly grin of yours is the way you pucker up every time my husband's backside needs a soft, soothing smooch." Fariha said as Richard Bottombrook kissed the soft, unblemished, caramel skin of her hand. After quickly disposing of his tiresome niceties she continued gliding around the room dispensing fawners, flatterers, and grotesque grovelers of all sorts in a perverted sort of flippant waltz that no one in the room, maybe in the entire world, could understand but our darling Fariha Apollo.
    Fariha is the kind of beauty one comes across but once in a lifetime. Her long, lustrous, silky black hair flowed like waves towards a calm beach in the middle of the night. It was said that she could soften the hearts of the most hardened men with her enchanting, mocha colored eyes. In fact the prior statement is unarguably certain. The most manipulative, calculating and ruthless man in all of The Corporation had fallen madly in love with Fariha despite her many eccentricities. There is a well-worn line that lucid drunkards would use on attractive girls before The Great Merger, that consisted of something similar to “when God created you he broke the mold”. Well, when Mr. Apollo created Fariha he did indeed break the mold, not to mention shoot the engineer that designed her.

9 comments:

  1. Thanks for joining in, Christopher. I'm intrigued by the last line--obviously things aren't as they appear on the surface!

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  2. That last line made me laugh. :D Fariha is very intriguing. And I'm curious about who the MC is.

    Good luck with it!

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  3. Ooo, this is so Stepford Wives-ish, that is if Mr. Apollo is Fariha's husband. I'm very intrigued and would keep reading. I want to know more about how Fariha was created. Wonderful post! :D

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  4. Hi Christopher, thanks for sharing. I'm curious about The Great Merger, and intrigued by the last line. I'm assuming the first two paras are a bit of a tongue-in-cheek reference to the way some romance novels are written? One suggestion if that's the case is to raise the question in our minds a bit earlier - the last thing you want is someone thinking you are serious and stopping reading! ;) Also, I'd love to see you introduce the main character in the first 250, so we know who it is (a guy?).

    Good luck with it.

    Rach

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  5. Elle: It was a pleasure, made me dust off and read some stuff I did a long time ago.

    Janet: Glad you enjoyed it.

    Brenda: She is, I get to that at some point.

    Rachel: To be honest the biggest problem I've had is figuring out who the main character is, I've got everything else figure out but I can't get him just quite right.

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  6. A very mysterious start. I get the idea this woman is used to getting what she wants, but think a conflict will arise soon in that regard.

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  7. I like the edge in the voice. Not overly witty and sarcastic, it's spot on. Want to know who the MC is going to be...

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  8. Nathalie: I'm a huge fan of conflict, so you can guarantee it.

    Carolyn: So do I!

    Sandra: thank you.

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