December 17, 2010

The Death of a Radical

I was young once. Weren't we all? My entire course in life was guided by noble intentions. I was going to change the world. I was going to put my boot to throat of injustice and only relent when God said uncle. I was overcompensating. Those passions were burned with the fuel of inadequacy. I never had enough rhythm to play the drums so I used the allure of idealism to get laid. It's easy to be optimistic when you're only worried about your next free hot dog and fries. After a while ramen noodles are just pathetic. You can only say that poverty is willful and self-inflicted until your friends start getting married.

Dreams fade. Cynicism inevitably conquers. Everyday I worry less about what happens and more about why I don't care. What a silly world we live in. I imagine the world where I would have made things with my hands. I detest the world in which I sell ass-kissing and platitudes in exchange for a short vacation and living wage. I'm useless. We all are. Why would I raise my hands to the heavens when little children will gleefully make me a pair of gloves?

I'm in the noble class of the new world order. Press thine cold steel against my brow and have those willing to call poverty perverse raise me up into the night as I receive my knighthood. I could have been born in Sudan. I could have proudly called myself an Iranian. I could have toiled in triumph in a rice paddy laid long ago in North Korea. No. Never. I was born into privilege and pomp with little respect for those with lesser. I am an American. I am better. I have the proverbial leg up and should be doing something with it.


  1. Beautifully written, phenomenally accurate, wildly hysterical and utterly depressing.

    Now if you will excuse me, I think I will go hang my useless self.

  2. i am an american, i am better. makes me slightly nauseous!

    tonight i had a conscience issue with my employer's products, i'll write about it on the blog, somewhat relates to what you spoke of...

  3. Kev: Well I'm glad you thought it was well done, even if it did make you hang yourself.

    Eco: That's exactly what I was going for with that line. I'm not sure why, but I was.

  4. Wow, dude. Thinking of something you could do is actually hard. Getting it done is so much harder. At least, it is, for me.

  5. You need to get published, if you haven't already. Seriously.

  6. PS. I got the books yesterday! It was the major excitement of my week/month. I'm really looking forward to starting them. Thanks again!

  7. Wow, I'm blown away, Chris! This is beautifully written, and gets right to the heart of a very big problem in our society today.

    "I have the proverbial leg up and should be doing something with it." Couldn't have been put any better. I am sorry that you have lost your idealism, I suppose the cynicism eventually sets in with all of us, kinda saddening.

  8. So sad, this is how I feel exactly, especially as another year passes me by and I still haven't been able to change the world.

    Completely agree.


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