December 10, 2010

My Funeral

Today the funeral for Cubs legend Ron Santo is taking place in downtown Chicago. For those of you that don't know much about baseball or Chicago, Ron Santo was an almost hall of fame third basemen and broadcaster for the Chicago Cubs. I'm a White Sox fan so I can't say that I'm in mourning the way the north side is but I can relate. Unlike some cities, Chicago sports fans expect every broadcast team to have one announcer who is basically a raving lunatic of a fan like the rest of us.

The Sox have Hawk Harrelson and the Cubs had Ron Santo and to be honest I expected both of them to die from heart attacks during a bad game for their respective teams. A broadcaster for a baseball fan is almost like family. I've been listening to Hawk since I was a kid and I know if he passed away I'd be pretty sad.
Now as a White Sox fan I'm required to hate all things related to the Cubs. They suck now. They have always sucked. They always will suck. Fuck the Cubs. Howver, unlike that drunken idiot Harry Caray, I actually liked Ron Santo. He genuinely seemed like a good person and was always passionate about his (awful) Cubbies which any baseball fan can respect. My condolences to the Santo family.

Last night I was listening to some sports talk radio and they were talking about whether it was right to hold a public funeral and then have a funeral procession through the city en route to Wrigley Field with thousands of Cubs fans watching from the streets. The thinking behind this criticism is that funerals should be a private thing and friends and families should be allowed to grieve in peace.

I personally  like the idea of the funeral procession. It's very old school. The car has ruined the modern day funeral procession, they go too fast. It's really just a drive from the church to the graveyard. While it is cool that you get to run red lights all the ritual is lost. When I go, I want to have a funeral procession down Halsted Street with my coffin being transported by a horse and carriage. Some great jazz musicians in tow playing their hearts out old school New Orleans style with women tearing their clothes and cursing God for taking such a wonderful lover from this earth as my coffin passes them by.

Something like this but in Chicago:

What kind of funeral do you want? Private or public? A spectacle or something more somber?

Image taken from:


  1. This is a really good post, but I don't think about my funeral. But Ii assume that I am going to be famous, so it wold probably have to be huge and public, ya know how it is.

  2. i want it to ne a happy(ish) one, if you know what i mean. i don't want gloom.

  3. no sad, only a party... cream-ate me.
    long live
    chi-town irregular

  4. Christopher Robin: Ha ha ha 'tearing their clothes and cursing God.' Sounds wonderful love the image and sound of a New Orleans Jazz Band....I would like to just kind of go out quietly, with no fan fare, no special anything. Just quietly let my body return the earth. I am quite certain my beloved family and friends wouldn't let such a thing, happen. I'd like for them to have a big roaring party...with clowns, balloon animals, Classic music, Country music, disco lights....anything to make them make them live....then while they are distracted with life, I can sneak out silently, leave quietly.

  5. I can see the funeral now. Good luck with that. ;)

    I think I'd prefer simple. But I can honestly say I've never really thought about it. Hmmm . . .

  6. Lol, i love how you said women will be tearing their clothes and cursing God for taking such a wonderful man... this is true indeed! :)

    And as for my funeral, that's not something I'm quite ready to think about or start planning just yet. :)

  7. Hm, I'd have to go with a private viewing, but huge public procession. Does that make me an exhibitionist? Don't forget the lady in the red dress, showing up at the end to throw herself on the casket weeping. Every good funeral has that.

    Also, I know nothing about baseball. I went to a game once. Minor league. Another time, I went to a baseball field, but it was for a concert, not a game. That's about the extent of my exposure. What's an inning?

    Don't throw things at me.

  8. Again, another great post. I'm not a baseball fan, so I really had no idea about any of this until your post.

    I'm not sure what kind of funeral I want. If I ever became famous, I think a public one would be kind of cool. Obviously, if that never happens, a private one might be more appropriate. Lol. :P

  9. Hmm the public funeral...I saw one of the traditional New Orleans ones many years ago and it was bittersweet to coin a phrase.
    That said though, something quiet for the formal part then something out of control for the wake with a tonne of live music and liquor.
    Bury me deep in love...

  10. I'm afraid my 'knowledge' about baseball is really poor...but have to say I really enjoyed your post. :)

    I'd prefer a private and somber funeral...when that times comes.

  11. Can't say I've put much thought into my funeral preparations, Ron sounded like a great guy and passionate about his team. Baseball will miss his character.

  12. They have processions here with horse and carriage! I don't see an issue with it, if it's a public figure, for example.

    Personally I just want people to drink then scatter my ashes over some treess somewhere... I don't like the whole 'ritual' funeral thing.

  13. Great post, Chris. You can describe things in a way that always make me burst out laughing or sit back in shock and surprise.

    As for my funeral, I don't want a service. I just want all my friends and family to get together for a drunken dinner and share a good laugh.

  14. I just want people to drink martinis. And I want my ashes to be scattered in places I love- all over the world. NO service, just a party.


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