Gone on bender, be back next year...

With Christmas, New Years and my birthday coming up in the next couple weeks here I've decided that I'm going to be too busy/too intoxicated/too fat to be bothered with blogging.

Happy Holidays to all my Republican readers.

Enjoy all the revelry my liberal lovers.

Some of you may see me passed out in a gutter near you. If you do say hello and leave me a bottle of Wild Irish Rose. To the rest of you, see ya next year.

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The Death of a Radical

I was young once. Weren't we all? My entire course in life was guided by noble intentions. I was going to change the world. I was going to put my boot to throat of injustice and only relent when God said uncle. I was overcompensating. Those passions were burned with the fuel of inadequacy. I never had enough rhythm to play the drums so I used the allure of idealism to get laid. It's easy to be optimistic when you're only worried about your next free hot dog and fries. After a while ramen noodles are just pathetic. You can only say that poverty is willful and self-inflicted until your friends start getting married.

Dreams fade. Cynicism inevitably conquers. Everyday I worry less about what happens and more about why I don't care. What a silly world we live in. I imagine the world where I would have made things with my hands. I detest the world in which I sell ass-kissing and platitudes in exchange for a short vacation and living wage. I'm useless. We all are. Why would I raise my hands to the heavens when little children will gleefully make me a pair of gloves?

I'm in the noble class of the new world order. Press thine cold steel against my brow and have those willing to call poverty perverse raise me up into the night as I receive my knighthood. I could have been born in Sudan. I could have proudly called myself an Iranian. I could have toiled in triumph in a rice paddy laid long ago in North Korea. No. Never. I was born into privilege and pomp with little respect for those with lesser. I am an American. I am better. I have the proverbial leg up and should be doing something with it.

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More Debate

I hate to dwell but the more I try to wrap my head around the whole WikiLeaks debate the more my head wants to explode. There is so much complexity and so many implications to the arguments on both sides that getting a good grasp on what is going on and what is important is exceedingly difficult. I personally learn through argument and debate and the discussion yesterday about WikiLeaks pushed my opinions in several different directions. I'd like to highlight a few undercurrents of the debate that I find either troublesome to solve or under-reported.

Responsibilities of a Free Press
As Riley Carson pointed out yesterday the WikiLeaks reveals have put hundreds of Afghan informants in danger of retaliation. According to a New York Times review of some of the documents leaked on the war in Afghanistan revealed information about informants including their names, their villages and father's names. It is impossible to tell how many died because of these leaks. While WikiLeaks took more care with the release of the Iraq documents there is still a debate to be had as to where transparency ends and irresponsibility begins.

If there is a martyr, it isn't Assange.
When put in perspective the biggest risk Julian Assange has taken is not wearing a condom with some questionable women. While all the attention is on Assange and his legal proceedings no one really seems to be talking about the person who actually leaked the documents. U.S. Army Private Bradley Manning has been in jail for five months now and could face the death penalty for treason. Do we shoot the guy for endangering the progress of the war in Afghanistan? Should we give him a medal for standing up for what he believes in? I'm not entirely sure yet.

If 3,000,000 people know about it can you really call it a secret?
If you think back seven or eight years you'll remember that a big reason the United States was so susceptible to terrorism was that none of the agencies in our federal government were sharing information. Well, now they are. Some three million people have access to the information Pvt. Manning had access to. Did we really think that three million people could keep a secret for long? Imagine every resident of Chicago keeping a secret without letting it get out. At best that is exceedingly difficult to do. Although, no one outside of Chicago seems to know the proper way to make a hot dog so I guess it is possible.

The cables aren't the biggest story. 
Why didn't the war-related leaks receive more attention? The video below is far more confronting on the subject of foreign affairs, what it means to be American and what it means to be human. I can't pass judgment on the soldiers in this video because it seems like they're just following orders. This is really hard to watch and it'll make you question a lot of things. This video shows real, terrifying violence. You've been warned.

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WikiLeaks and Assange

My view on WikiLeaks and founder Julian Assange will probably be unpopular with both sides of the debate. I think WikiLeaks is a revolution in transparency and should absolutely be supported by the people of the world. Governments throughout history tend to have the opinion that the masses are too stupid to understand what's best for them. Democracy was invented in part to combat this notion long held by those with power. Over the last couple hundred years or so people have realized that even in a democracy it is at times hard to force leaders to be transparent - even if we are the ones that choose our leaders. This need for transparency that we all feel led to the need for an organization like WikiLeaks. If our governments didn't hide things from us WikiLeaks would be irrelevant. As much as opinions on the left or right differ one common piece of ground that both share is the belief that the government has ulterior motives. WikiLeaks is a tool to give us insight into our leaders real motives.

I also think that Julian Assange is an awful spokesperson and leader for the WikiLeaks movement. I give him plenty of credit for coming up with a brilliant idea but I think that making him the focal point of the debate is a misstep. The focus of the international community should be on funding WikiLeaks and the newly formed OpenLeaks so that this movement can continue on and become a permanent wing of the fourth estate. I'm worried that by focusing on Assange and his legal defense we are taking away from the wider movement.

If Assange was being charged in connection with the documents he released it would be a good rallying cry for the movement. However, he is wanted for questioning in regard to some possible sexual misdeeds in Sweden from women he has already admitted to having sex with. Is it really so unreasonable that he should be questioned? If he wasn't the founder of WikiLeaks wouldn't you think it would be right for him to be questioned? If my blog was important enough for me to warrant having groupies and I had sex with two of them and they accused me of rape wouldn't you think it'd be the responsibility of the police to question me whether the charges were bogus or not?

If there is a U.S. led conspiracy to shut down WikiLeaks by getting Sweden to arrest him on some trumped up charges the immediate cliche that comes to mind is that to kill the snake you chop off the head. That somehow by getting Assange arrested WikiLeaks will wither away and die. To be honest if that is the U.S. government's big conspiracy it has to be the lamest they've ever come up with. If they really wanted to get rid of him wouldn't they just have someone run up on him in England with a knife and stab him a bunch of times? Wouldn't they hire a beautiful woman to seduce him and kill him in his sleep? Even if they didn't want to kill him why wouldn't they pressure England to come up with some trumped up charges? They have much more experience in human rights abuses.

Let's for a minute say that the conspiracy theories are true and this is a ploy to silence him. Wouldn't it be better to focus our attention on keeping WikiLeaks solvent since he will be gone anyway? I'll support WikiLeaks and organizations like it but I think it's a waste to encourage people to spend their money defending him when I'm sure he'll have the best legal counsel in the world working for him pro-bono. Support the organization, the movement and governmental transparancy. It is a cause far more important than any one man, now let's act like it.

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The Scarlet Letter: A Review

Nathanial Hawthorne's classic The Scarlet Letter is all about secrets. We all have them. Some of them have been eating away at us since we were children. Some of them are kept from the person laying next to us. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm keeping a number of secrets from myself right now. A really big secret will destroy you. It'll make you lose weight or gain it. They'll make you bald or gray. A really big secret will make you sure you're doomed to hell. Some secrets can even kill.

I used to refuse to tell anyone about myself or my thoughts. I was a pretty tightly sealed ball of information as I moved through my early years. Eventually, I made a couple of close friends that make it a habit of telling absolutely everything about themselves to absolutely everyone. It is like they are completely incapable of keeping a secret. Over the years they've rubbed off on me a bit. It's incredibly liberating to confess the awful and embarrassing things you've done over the course of your life to someone else.

This book deals with the haunting nature of big secrets better than any I've ever read. Everything is below the surface in the small New England town of long ago. Each of the three main characters has a secret that is killing them and good luck trying to get them to confess. The need to confess is a basic human need. The Catholics actually have it right I think. This book is filled with tortured souls and it shows you that sometimes the dishonor that confessing your sins brings is far superior to having a heavy conscience for the rest of your life.

This book isn't necessarily the easiest to read but it is a really good book. Something about the language and the cadence made it tough for me to read more than a chapter or so per sitting but I'm glad I toughed it out. The three main characters were all complex and intriguing. Little Pearl was probably the most interesting child I've ever seen written. If you haven't read this before I suggest giving it a try. I guarantee you'll learn something about your own inner demons.

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So

The darkness within me swirls violently, so I turn on the lights. Now I'm bored, so I trip someone walking by. That lady looks hurt, so I cringe. I thought that walker would hold her up, so I panic and run. I see a police officer walking the path in the park, so I collect myself and slow down. I tell him I saw some black dude push an old lady and steal her purse, so racial profiling isn't always bad. Cops are such tools, so I shouldn't get in trouble for that. I  realize I probably need therapy, so I walk into the nearest bar.

Image taken from here: http://www.chizzyandbryan.com/archives/2005_11.html

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My Funeral

Today the funeral for Cubs legend Ron Santo is taking place in downtown Chicago. For those of you that don't know much about baseball or Chicago, Ron Santo was an almost hall of fame third basemen and broadcaster for the Chicago Cubs. I'm a White Sox fan so I can't say that I'm in mourning the way the north side is but I can relate. Unlike some cities, Chicago sports fans expect every broadcast team to have one announcer who is basically a raving lunatic of a fan like the rest of us.

The Sox have Hawk Harrelson and the Cubs had Ron Santo and to be honest I expected both of them to die from heart attacks during a bad game for their respective teams. A broadcaster for a baseball fan is almost like family. I've been listening to Hawk since I was a kid and I know if he passed away I'd be pretty sad.
Now as a White Sox fan I'm required to hate all things related to the Cubs. They suck now. They have always sucked. They always will suck. Fuck the Cubs. Howver, unlike that drunken idiot Harry Caray, I actually liked Ron Santo. He genuinely seemed like a good person and was always passionate about his (awful) Cubbies which any baseball fan can respect. My condolences to the Santo family.

Last night I was listening to some sports talk radio and they were talking about whether it was right to hold a public funeral and then have a funeral procession through the city en route to Wrigley Field with thousands of Cubs fans watching from the streets. The thinking behind this criticism is that funerals should be a private thing and friends and families should be allowed to grieve in peace.

I personally  like the idea of the funeral procession. It's very old school. The car has ruined the modern day funeral procession, they go too fast. It's really just a drive from the church to the graveyard. While it is cool that you get to run red lights all the ritual is lost. When I go, I want to have a funeral procession down Halsted Street with my coffin being transported by a horse and carriage. Some great jazz musicians in tow playing their hearts out old school New Orleans style with women tearing their clothes and cursing God for taking such a wonderful lover from this earth as my coffin passes them by.

Something like this but in Chicago:

What kind of funeral do you want? Private or public? A spectacle or something more somber?


Image taken from: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/gallery/2010/08/30/GA2010083002833.html

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Really?

I don't care if you think I should be more empathetic.

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Chronicles of Chicago: Local Mom Helps Fund Sexual Revolution

As I look at the picture of the young man pictured above in front of his high school  on the northwest side of Chicago I wonder if he had any idea then the kind of impact he would have on the world? Most young men at the age of 16 have big boobs on their mind but how many really think about making a business out of it? That kid up there is of course Hugh Hefner and his impact on the sexual revolution is known to all.

Thanks to this:

First issue of Playboy published in 1953 featuring everyone's all-time favorite sex kitten Marilyn Monroe.

He was able to open this:

The original Playboy Mansion in downtown Chicago. In the front of the mansion there was a sign posted that was inscribed with the Latin "Si Non Oscillas, Noli Tintinnare" (if you don't swing, don't ring).

And this:

The original Playboy Club in downtown Chicago which anyone could become a member of. The price of membership was $25 for Chicago residents and $50 for out-of-towners.

Which gave the inspiration to create these:

Hef and the original Playboy Bunnies at the grand opening of the original Playboy Club. As a way give the Playboy Club a unique style the waitresses were dressed in a manner inspired by the company's logo and the Playboy Bunny was born.

None of this would have been possible without Playboy's first investor: Grace Caroline Hefner. Yes, if it wasn't for his mother, the Methodist school teacher, investing a thousand dollars in Hefner's first magazine every pubescent boy in America would have had a much better imagination. When young Hugh came to you and asked for money so he could start a nudie magazine you didn't slap him like my mother would have, you instead believed that he could do whatever he wanted in life. For your belief in your son, from the bottoms of our hearts, we thank you.

Sources for information and images taken from here, here, and here

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And The Winner...

Of the Make Chris Cry Giveaway! is...

Jennifer Fabulous!

I'm glad she won because she's one of my favorite-ist people in the (blog) world. She's talented, extremely funny, fabulous and ridiculously adorable. If someone has to make me cry by taking my favorite books I'm glad it's her. Go check out her blog (click here).

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Fearful, Tearful

He dresses like a young republican and abducts women in their sleep. They awaken to the sounds of a dentist's office. Suction is slurping up the tears from their eyes. What they can't see is the intravenous bag their despair is draining into. Apparently this IV drip gives him eternal life. Their fear keeps him going. Their tears his sole motivation. He keeps hunting, they keep crying. The cycle will continue indefinitely unless we can create a more perfect being less prone to irrationality.

Image taken from: http://www.zazzle.com/tearful_eye_card-137736630572060584

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SneakiLeaks

 If you haven't signed up to make me cry (and win free stuff) click here to do so now!

There's been a ton of coverage of the whole WikiLeaks scandal lately and I know I'm late to the party. I've read up some on it but I wasn't as outraged as most. I'm of the opinion that since we are a democracy the more information we, the people, have the better informed our decisions will be. That's not the debate I want to have right now though, that's a whole other blog.

What surprises me about the whole thing is that I haven't really heard anyone mention the possibility that these leaks were intentional on the part of the Obama administration. Now, I can respect and admire someone that leaks documents in order to blow the lid off of something the government or a corporation is doing that is evil. That takes guts and we need more people willing to do that in this world. But, why would someone risk their job and possibly freedom to leak documents that show their boss is doing a good job? I don't see the motive in leaking these diplomatic cables. Let's take a look at the "Top 10 revelations from WikiLeaks cables" by Yahoo! News and think about whether these leaks should be embarrassing or encouraging.

1. Many Middle Eastern nations are far more concerned about Iran's nuclear program than they've publicly admitted. According to one cable, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has repeatedly asked the U.S. to "cut off the head of the snake" -- meaning, it appears, to bomb Iran's nuclear program. Leaders of Qatar, Jordan, the United Arab Emirates and other Middle Eastern nations expressed similar views.

Since the Iraq war the United States has been viewed as the bully of the Middle East. We've been short on allies internationally and if we decided it was necessary to attack Iran our motives would provoke extreme cynicism from all (including myself). Our diplomats couldn't just come out and say all these Middle Eastern nations think we should bomb Iran because I'm pretty sure all of those leaders would deny it. By "leaking" that the names of the countries that want Iran bombed our position strengthens and we can just say that those were private cables that were never meant to be leaked to the various leaders.

2. The U.S. ambassador to Seoul told Washington in February that the right business deals might get China to acquiesce to a reunified Korea, if the newly unified power were allied with the United States. American and South Korean officials have discussed such a reunification in the event that North Korea collapses under the weight of its economic and political problems.

We all know that China has given up on hardcore communism. I'm not even sure they should still be considered a communist nation. This bit of information about China's willingness to let the U.S. fill the power vacuum in a collapsed North Korea (for a price) further isolates North Korea from the rest of the world at a time when they are acting out. Mr. Crazy might think twice about doing something crazy if he realizes China doesn't still have his back.

3. The Obama administration offered sweeteners to try to get other countries to take Guantanamo detainees, as part of its (as yet unsuccessful) effort to close the prison. Slovenia, for instance, was offered a meeting with President Obama, while the island nation of Kiribati was offered incentives worth millions.

Obama promised that Guantanamo would be closed within a year. It's been two. Here is an excuse as to why it hasn't closed yet, we have to pay people to take them off our hands.

4. Afghan Vice President Ahmed Zia Massoud took $52 million in cash when he visited the United Arab Emirates last year, according to one cable. The Afghan government has been plagued by allegations of corruption. Massoud has denied taking the money out of the country.

The U.S. can't turn a blind eye to corruption in Afghanistan if it ever wants to start changing the minds of the people there. Exposing this guy gives us some cred.

5. The United States has been working to remove highly enriched uranium from a Pakistani nuclear reactor, out of concern that it could be used to build an illicit nuclear device. The effort, which began in 2007, continues.

The U.S. is trying to secure material that could be used by terrorists should something unimaginable happen in Pakistan. Yea, that looks real bad.

6. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton ordered diplomats to assemble information on their foreign counterparts. Documents in the WikiLeaks cache also indicate that Clinton may have asked diplomats to gather intelligence on U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon's plans for Iran, and information on Sudan (including Darfur), Afghanistan, Pakistan, Somalia, Iran and North Korea.

Is anyone really surprised that diplomats are spying? I think that is included in the job requirements for a diplomat. They are there to gather inside information, that's how it works.

7. The State Department labeled Qatar the worst country in the region for counterterrorism efforts. The country's security services were "hesitant to act against known terrorists out of concern for appearing to be aligned with the U.S. and provoking reprisals," according to one cable.

 If a country is doing a shit job with counter-terrorism shouldn't we put them on blast? Especially now that they've been awarded the World Cup which could make for a good target.

8. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi are tighter than was previously known. Putin has given the high-living Berlusconi "lavish gifts" and lucrative energy contracts, and Berlusconi "appears increasingly to be the mouthpiece of Putin" in Europe, according to one cable.

Putin is a pretty evil dude. He's done some very anti-democratic things in Russia. Do we want him having a bitch in Europe to speak for him? I think not, so let's expose that.

9. Hezbollah continues to enjoy the weapons patronage of Syria. A week after Syrian president Bashar Assad promised the United States he wouldn't send "new" arms to the Lebanese militant group, the United States said it had information that Syria was continuing to provide the group with increasingly sophisticated weapons.

If Syria is supplying Hezbollah with more advanced weapons shouldn't pressure be put on them to stop? Don't these leaks do that?

10. Some cables reveal decidedly less than diplomatic opinions of foreign leaders. Putin is said to be an "alpha-dog" and Afghan President Hamid Karzai to be "driven by paranoia." German Chancellor Angela Merkel "avoids risk and is rarely creative." Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi travels with a "voluptuous blonde" Ukrainian nurse.

I'm pretty sure that everyone in each of those countries already knows these things about their leader. Why not put them on the defensive about it?

I just don't get how any of this stuff makes America look that bad. If anything I admire the U.S. diplomats a bit more after reading a lot of this stuff. As a diplomat there are certain things you need to say but can't. I think these leaks said plenty and they definitely don't embarrass the Obama administration like I was expecting. Perhaps they are more clever than we give them credit for.

Image taken from:  http://www.excelimaging.net/skz.php?q=leaky-faucet-valve

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