I tried doing some independent research on the subject. I mean, I googled the subject. To my surprise, no one writes anything on how to complicate your life. I did find a nice list called 100 Ways to Uncomplicate Your Life and I figure if I try doing the opposite I might get some good ideas. In reality I just edited the list a bit and made some snarky comments. But really, isn't filling out lists and being a smart ass what blogging is all about? Well, that and lesbian cat owners.
I'm pretty good at sizing people up. Being a mindreader might not be a bad gig.
2. [Don't] Get 8 hours of sleep per night so that you think
Way ahead of you list.
3. Balance your checkbook
I balanced it on a pile of bills for a while but it fell off.
Yelling at people can be fun and no one will remember in 20 years so what can it hurt?
Done, done and done.
6. For just one day, imagine everyone’s intentions are
I'm sure paranoia and cynicism could lead to a great time.
7. When you have a conflict with someone, [don't] talk it out.
I have too many friends bugging me all the time anyway.
8. [Don't] Tell the truth
I could really fuck with some people if I set about telling some really huge lies. Definite possibility.
Anyone up for a game of Monopoly?
I haven't worked retail in years, but when I did I was pretty good at liberating those corporate pigs from their merchandise.
Fat people are supposed to be jolly, this might have merit.
12. [Don't] Organise your desk at the office
How awesome would a work edition of hoarders be?
I really wish fat people and minorities wouldn't read my blog.
14. [Don't] Turn off the television/video games/computer; they’re time consumers
Pretty much already doing that or else I wouldn't have a blog.
It is so much more fun that way!
I'll never stop doing this.
I don't see how this could possibly go wrong. Anyone know Lindsay Lohan's number? I always thought she got a bad wrap. Seems like a fun chic to me.
18. [Don't] Wear your hair in a classic, easy to care for style
19. Wear classic clothes and shoes that
Nothing goes better with a reverse mohawk than a pair of bell bottoms and platform shoes.
20. When you ask your husband which outfit looks best, thank him for his answer and wear the one he liked rather than focusing on why he didn’t like the other one
OK, this is supposed to uncomplicate my life? Becoming a homosexual would be incredibly difficult and finding a place to legally marry a man would be nearly impossible. This list sucks!
21. [Don't] Allow your children to grow up
Abortions for everyone! My baby might be in you, but the tab is on me.
Image taken from here: http://www.artechnika.com/Number22.htm