March 26, 2011

Fight TCCS! (Temporarily Crazy Chic Syndrome)

Last night I was hanging out with a few of my lady friends (platonic, not pay-as-you-go). Whenever a group of women and a man (who isn't in pursuit of their hoo-ha's) get together for a night of drinks and conversation, the topic of why women act so crazy inevitably comes up. It's always funny, stories are told, a bit of man-bashing goes on in retaliation and eventually everyone comes to the conclusion that women are just crazy sometimes. That's it. The tab is paid, the night is over and everyone goes home happy.

It got me thinking, why does the conversation always end there? 99% of women will readily admit to having suffered from TCCS (temporarily crazy chic syndrome) at some point in their lives. Some are even afflicted with it on what seems like a monthly basis. In some cases it even becomes permanent. Yet, in 2011, I still have never heard of any sort of treatment, support groups, or classes that teach women to deal with becoming temporarily crazy.

It seems like we've just given up on coming up with any sort of cure for TCCS. TCCS is accepted as normal, and damnit, I think that's just wrong. Even within groups of women it is tolerated and accepted. If a woman does something crazy, other women just shrug it off as another case of TCCS. Sometimes it even leads to a crazy-chain. Incidentally, Ozzy Osbourne's famous Crazy Train song was originally about the crazy-chain phenomenon until Sharon, you guessed it, went crazy on him. All aboard, Ozzy. All aboard indeed.

Most people just place the blame on hormones. I personally think that's a little condescending and I think most women would agree with me. After all, anytime I've ever asked a woman whom I thought was suffering from TCCS if she is having her period she quickly proceeds to label me a jackass who knows nothing about women.

Besides, the hormones excuse just doesn't work! I've tried it. I told my ex-girlfriend that she shouldn't be mad at me. It wasn't my fault, it was my hormones that make me stick my dick in any woman I meet. Hormones are clearly an awful excuse because she tried to stab me in the shoulder before I even finished explaining the biochemistry of the male human.

I think its time to stand-up and finally acknowledge that TCCS  won't go away by itself. I've decided to start a foundation to find the cure for TCCS. If you're a woman that suffers from this condition or a man that has ever apologized for no reason because your girlfriend was being crazy only to get yelled at even more for not even knowing what you were apologizing for - I urge you to donate now. Please make checks payable to Christopher Allen and send to:

Put Xanax in Every Piece of Chocolate Foundation
555 W. 22nd St.
Chicago, IL 60612

With your help we will solve this public health epidemic once and for all.
________________

Image taken from:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/damgaard/3696157599/

17 comments:

  1. I'm...feeling all crazy just reading this...muwhahahaha! That's your real address, right?

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  2. I'll send you money if you send me the Xanax. Wait. I already do that with Canada. Good luck with your foundation. It truly is a good cause cuz bitches be crazy!!!

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  3. you are braver than me in writing this post. My wife has a habit of reading my posts and might put an axe in my head!

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  4. Not to be too literal, but it is actually amazing how much hormones can influence both male and female behavior.

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  5. If you can come up with Xanax infused french fries....

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  6. I don't know. I think there might be gender-specific modes of going crazy.

    I hang out with a lot of guys who show up with bruised knuckles about once a month - where they've snapped and beaten a wall or something. Seems to be a fairly common occurrence.

    People go nuts and don't have healthy outlets for it. Meth and murder sprees work for me, but I'm not recommending it for everyone. Still, I manage to get to work on time and no one is the wiser...

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  7. Oh, the hormones. When anyone would blame a girl's emotions on hormones, I used to go...well, crazy. I mean, COME ON.

    ...but in one of my classes I looked at the hormone fluctuations of women, and honey, it's amazing we stay as sane as we do.

    and in your defense, there is a ton of new research out there investigating the monthly hormonal fluctuations of men. Yep, you guys might be prone to monthly psychosis as well- you just don't know it.

    I'm a big believer in biology, but you are right- there is a huge cultural component. The fact of the matter is, people can literally get away with murder if they can prove that it was biologically influenced (twinkie defense!). It's socially acceptable for women to dismiss their actions as hormonally induced, and I think that rather than striving to stay sane we sort take advantage of that fact.

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  8. Hormones is synonymous with Whore Moans in my head.

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  9. I wonder if it is a cross species type of affliction...I got chased down the street last night by a lady dog. Well she wasn't really a 'lady' as such the way she was foaming at the mouth and going all nutso on me. Nil injuries incurred.
    And no, this is not a thinly veiled metaphor. This dog is famous around here and has a permanent case of TCCS.

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  10. Now wait a minute... this works both ways, you know? Haven't you ever hear of TDDS? (Temporarily demented dick syndrome.) ;)

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  11. I don't know what you're talking about. NOTHING'S WRONG!!!! I'M FINE!!!!

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  12. Everyone's crazy sometimes...

    Everyone's a bitch sometimes...

    That goes for both sexes.

    As for me, I like explosives. They make me crazy-happy in a killing kittens, warm and fuzzy way.

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  13. My friend Alex once hypothesized that due to the hormones being used in sex, a man can endure anything, even being stabbed, in order to....finish the job. He was correct, as he was actually stabbed while with his fetish-loving GF, and actually continued until they were BOTH done.

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  14. Crazy Eyes. ( That is a How I Met Your Mother Reference, if you do not watch it, well what are you still doing here?)

    I don't think I have a had a Crazy Chick spurt yet, but I feel it coming.

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  15. Sorry, you almost lost me at the pay-as-you-go comment. Again, I laughed out loud at work. Not a good thing.

    Honestly, I don't think we WANT a cure for TCCS. I've got a pretty good handle on my inner Crazy Chick, she has to be seriously provoked before I'll go off. But it is nice knowing there is the option to kirk out every now and again.

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  16. My (smart) husband has informed me that anytime I've been upset with him I have had a damn good reason to be upset with him. So if that's crazy, I'm cool with that.

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