March 17, 2011

John & I

I was born the day John Lennon died. A few were happy to see me, most were melancholy. I remember looking 'round the room at all the despondent faces and thinking I must have done something wrong. They looked at me with smirks and stares that said "they killed the Walrus and all we get is this fat ugly baby?".

Then someone mentioned reincarnation. The grown ups in the room glanced quizically at each other and said things like "you don't think?"; "don't be ridiculous!"; and "it might be far-fetched, but what if...?". I tried to tell them I wasn't John Lennon, I was only me, but I spoke baby and they weren't bilingual. I screamed in frustration but all they did was check my diaper. I knew from then on that my opinion would always be shit.

As I grew older they made me sing and play the guitar but I had no rythm, no talent and no soul. At least not the soul everyone expected to see. Eventually the pressure led to drugs, drink and despair. Did anyone help? No. They were only encouraged! They said I was just getting in touch with that famous dark side John and I were supposed to share. Today I sit here bald, broke and penniless wondering what life could have been if I'd only been born the day Ringo died.
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Image taken from: http://www.cardboardposters.com/headline-2-john-lennon-killed-412-p-883.html

20 comments:

  1. Makes me feel old. I remember the John died. I was old enough to know who he was and what it meant.

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  2. this was a great read. i was a young kid when he died. i actually remember the day he died because that night i woke up screaming and crying and nobody could console me, it lasted for hours. i kind of remember the crazy crying freak-out, but i'm pretty sure i was in some weird sleep state when it happened. anyway, my father always insisted that i was somehow psychically channelling all the sorrow from the world losing john lennon. he was all into the metaphysical crap, my dad. anyway, now i know what i was doing when you were born. freaky.

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  3. Oh this is a good one, Christopher. I doubt anyone would have made such a fuss if it had been Ringo. Ouch! What a coincidence - I was at Guitar Center today getting a string for my banjo (ya, I'm off to a good start) and I saw a 30th-anniversary-of-John's-death poster tacked to the wall, and thought WOW, 30 years this past December. Shit, I'm getting friggin' old. I remember that fateful day so well - I was in college and the whole campus went silent and dark. Seems like Yesterday.

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  4. okay, so who are you? and more importantly, are you getting royalty cheques?

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  5. so that explains my mother's disappointment in me when i was born during the watergate era. hmm.

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  6. Ringo may already be dead. Who'd notice? funny day - I was at school, I think.

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  7. You're skepticism about it COULD be evidence that it's true. "God" sort of indicates you... er, I mean, Lennon... didn't believe in reincarnation.

    Hmmm... Do you ever have an inexplicable feeling that you know what the lyrics to "I Am the Walrus" mean?

    The downside of the Beatles death thing is that they are dying in the order of their talent. Top to bottom. Which means Ringo will be next to go.

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  8. Aww, I love Ringo. But this was great to read.

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  9. LBB: Yea, it's crazy the way time flies.

    id: Actually, I sort of made all this up. I really was born a year and a couple weeks after, but yea, glad you enjoyed it and that sounded traumatic.

    Jayne: I want that poster.

    Kage: I'm someone that makes random stuff like this up. If you can find a way to get me royalty checks for that I'd be happy to split them with you.

    Eva: Thanks, I had so much fun making it all up.

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  10. Interest take on this memory of that famous event. I remember when I first heard about it--it was on NPR shortly after I had come home from work. It was shocking news indeed.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  11. Eco: Ha, we're all born during something bad. It's a big world.

    David: I have a feeling Ringo will outlast us all.

    Katy: I know exactly what they mean, they mean nothing. When people think you're deep you write things that are completely meaningless and laugh while people try to interpret them. Bob Dylan made a whole career of that.

    Not a fan of Paul huh? He's not my favorite either but he was a genius I think. Unless you're buying into the theory that Paul died back in the 60's and we only have fake Paul now.

    Tsarista: Glad you liked it, but yea, Ringo has always annoyed me.

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  12. Lee: That must have been nuts, if I'd been there I have a feeling I would have been devastated. In fact, I'm kind of devastated anyway.

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  13. That was quite a day. I was living in NYC at the time and the reaction in the City was surreal. I guess it reaffirmed to me that the world was hopelessly random and cruel.

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  14. Gosh, I missed reading your blog! Seriously dude, everything I read from you is a good read.

    And dude, don't feel so bad. I was named after OJ Simpson. That sucks.

    "I knew from then on that my opinion would always be shit." HAHAHAHA

    You're great.

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  15. At least you have a good icebreaker if ever you run into Yoko.

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  16. Laoch: It really is a shame that a guy so dedicated to peace died so violently. Seems like that happens more often than not.

    Oliver: HA! OJ really? Ouch.

    And yea, that was my favorite line too.

    Glad to see you around again!

    Kev: She might hit on me if I told her this story. Which of course would lead to the breakup with my friends and I.

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  17. Hey, Christopher. "I Am the Walrus" has always been my favorite Beatles song, which probably proves I'm not a TRUE Beatles fan.

    I had never even heard the "Revolver" album until this past November.

    I do love the song on "Magical Mystery Tour" that comes right before "Walrus" though. It's called "Blue Jay Way" or something like that and sounds as though it is made out of taffy.

    But Paul... I tend towards artsier music, and "Say Say Say" doesn't do it for me. Or "Bike Like an Icon."

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  18. Katy: I agree, John has always appealed to me so much more but there's still a lot of incredible Paul songs too. Back in the USSR, Helter Skelter and most of Sgt Peppers were all Paul and I've had my share of enjoyment out of those. I don't really get into the whole Beatles catalog because it didn't really get that interesting to me until the end with Sgt Peppers and the White Album. I think I'm going to have to listen to the latter again today because it blows me away everytime.

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  19. I know the safer route - from an artistic perspective - is to pretend Paul died in 1976 or something.

    Late last year, I went out and got both "Revolver" and "Rubber Soul" - and I liked them both as well as I like most of their later, more psychedelic, material.

    I'm never going to connect with them the way I do with some artists, but I'd be musically and culturally illiterate if I did not take the time to learn the back catalog...

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