The Cubbies Finally Win the World Series!
I, ladies and gentleman, am nobody's fool. I'm a die-hard fan of the Chicago White Sox. Yes, I love the team from Chicago that no one has ever heard of because I'm cool like that. If hipsters were into sports, the White Sox would be their team.
Most of you are probably unfamiliar with the history of Chicago baseball. It's a long, sad and depressing history. Remember when the Red Sox finally won the World Series? All that bullshit about Boston being a long suffering city because their poor wittle Red Sox hadn't won the Series in so long? Do you know what we in Chicago thought about that? F****** pussies! Imagine having two teams in your city with even longer World Series droughts and you may possibly be able to comprehend what real baseball pain is.
For generations this led to a dynamic in which fans of either team could never secure bragging rights because both teams sucked ass year in and year out. At some point in the late 80's the Tribune Company (owners of the Cubs and Chicago's largest paper) started selling the "Cub Experience". Sure they're losers, but they're lovable losers! Wrigley Field has a great view and it doesn't even matter if you like baseball or not, just come down to hang out! At some point, Cubs fans started believing the hype and would argue that the Cubs were the superior team because they were more "popular".
Anyone with a brain can see that's a load of horse**** and Sox fans became understandably bitter because of it. Infuriated Sox fans would try to show the idiocy of this argument but as with Republicans, arguing with Cubs fans is futile. Tensions were running high, and then 2005 happened. The Sox finally won the whole damned thing and I orgasmed in my pants non-stop for six straight months. It was like winning a war. A civic war.
Cubs fans still try to pull out the "Cub Experience" argument from time to time but now the shoe is on the other foot and White Sox fans can smugly remind Cubs fans that it's been over a hundred years since they've won a World Series, only six for us. It feels great too. Until the Cubs actually win a World Series (ha!), that is how it will remain.
This season, it looks like the Cubs are rebuilding, again. While the Sox are looking like they should be contenders. I love Opening Day.