April 26, 2011

Christopher's 7 Little Known Facts

1. I never learned how to ride a bike.

2. When I was in seventh grade I would write "Jacqueline" on the palm of my hand nearly everyday in an effort to build up the courage to finally ask her out. I never did. Three years ago I bumped into her and she asked me out. I said no. People change.

3. I'm in a polyamorous relationship with an adorable sociology student named Karen and a Salvadorian man we affectionately call Dali.

4. I made a pitcher of Kool-Aid last night because I had no flavored beverages on hand (unless you count tequila) and I wasn't in the mood for water. It was awesome! Why don't people still drink Kool-Aid? I can't remember the last time I was at someone's house and they asked if I wanted a glass of Kool-Aid. Or is it that people just stop asking you if you want Kool-Aid when you're older than age 10?

5. The above statement wasn't entirely true. I didn't make Kool-Aid, I made the generic equivalent. We always had the generic stuff when I was a kid and now I have a taste for it. I could afford Kraft Mac-N-Cheese if I really wanted it, but the stuff from Aldi's just tastes better to me.

6. The above statement wasn't entirely true either. At this point I doubt I could really afford Kraft Mac-N-Cheese. I was just trying to make a point.

7. Number one is a lie. However, most people lose interest in lists by this point and I can't wait to see how many people ask "who the hell doesn't know how to ride a bike?". I find great humor in bizarre lies that people believe just based on the absurdity of the claim and firmness with which it was delivered. People always say "you can't make stuff like that up". You can, I do it all the time. So yes, obviously I know how to ride a bike. In fact, Karen, Dali and I have a beautiful three person bike we take on day trips. I like to be in the middle.
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Image taken from here: http://humor.gunaxin.com/15-mia-kool-aid-flavors/19821

14 comments:

  1. Who in the hell lies about not being able to ride a bike?!?!?

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  2. And to think I felt kind of sorry for you! (Although the Kool-Aid bit does make me wonder.) ;)

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  3. You're confusing. Yet I still come by to read.

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  4. ok, whether or not you really even made the 'kool-aid', i thought you should know that the other day i had adult guests over and actually asked them if they wanted kool-aid. they said yes, drank it, and seemed to enjoy it. then as they were leaving they were all, "thanks for the KOOL-AID, hahaha..." i'm still trying to decide if they were making fun of me or not.

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  5. Fiction is nothing but lies. Lies!

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  6. Where did you find a three person bike? :)

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  7. I almost believe in number 1 and would like to ask you if you really don't know how, but glad I read until #7.

    Number 2 made me. LOL! yeah people change...poor Jacqueline.

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  8. Lies! Damn lies! Sorry, I just like that little turn of phrase and rather than differ from the mainstream responses to your posts felt it would be wise to carry on.
    I have never tasted kool-aid, but have eaten Tang, straight from the jar. Nummy num goodness.
    Yeah Aldi Mac n Cheese rocks, I snarfed some down late last night.

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  9. HAHAHAHAHAHA. This is the best list ever.

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  10. Do you know what's more annoying than lists?

    1)when people make lists

    b) and use multiple ways of numbering

    donkey) because it's funny

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  11. I was going to say, who doesn't know how to ride a bike? Good to know you're just a liar. Lol. And I still drink Kool-Aid, but I have a 5 year old so I have an excuse :)

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  12. Ha! I love that list and now I'm going to build a 3 person bike.

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