I'd also never tried out the whole cougar thing that was all the rage at the time either. She was 9 years older than me, is that enough of an age difference to be considered a cougar? I wasn't sure so I called her a puma. She said "like the shoe"? It was then that I realized this relationship wasn't going very far. Since I didn't end up getting a whole lot out of the relationship I figured I ought to pass on what I learned in the interest of science. Before anyone asks, no, she never knew I had a blog and won't be seeing this.
- Don't assume that older women only want casual relationships. I incorrectly thought that because I was nearly a decade younger than her that it automatically made me just a fling to her. Normally I like to get the expectations conversation out of the way relatively early but I didn't even bother this time until she introduced me to someone as "boyfriend". I'm still not entirely sure that it's possible to just have a f*** buddy, feelings always seem to creep in somewhere.
- Don't be too hard on your kids if they don't like the guy. Particularly if they're boys. If some guy that was only 10 years older than me was banging my mom we wouldn't exactly be buddy buddy either. If the guy doesn't understand that then it's probably not going anywhere anyway.
- Romance! A night out for a woman with children is much more precious than it is to a woman without. In all likelihood she called in some favors from friends to babysit and stressed over what to wear for hours because its been forever since she's been out. Appreciate it, shave, buy some flowers, go somewhere nice and don't forget the foreplay. Bring your A-Game and it'll definitely be worth the effort. Then again, if she's out every night ready to slut it up when she should be at home teaching little Timmy to read get the hell out of there.
- Don't expect the guy to do any sort of parenting at all. The last thing any guy ever wants to hear is "you ain't my daddy" or "are you my new daddy?". In fact, the first few times he meets your kids that's all he'll be thinking about.
- If you aren't ready to date a woman with kids don't date a woman with kids. It's not really that different from what you would expect it to be like.
- If the relationship ends it doesn't automatically mean that it was because of your kids. It may even turn out that in the end he liked the kids more than he liked you. Sometimes relationships just don't work out.
I hope my findings help to expand the scope of scientific knowledge on the topic and I am currently accepting applications from 20 year old women for an experiment in which I study the effects of dating a woman nine years younger than me. Obviously, this is purely in the interest of science.
Image taken from: http://singleparentsource.wordpress.com/