The Long Way Home

It's 3 AM and my face is fucking freezing. I wanted to stay out late with the cool kids. I thought I had a chance but I've never been so severely mistaken in my life. Why didn't I take that ride when the opportunity came? For some reason when I try to swallow going home early and it meets the scotch and Sam in my stomach it just doesn't sit well. So I walk. Alone. Through the cold winter night.

The frigid air creeps into my flesh and makes my bones as numb as my mind. I see one of Chicago's finest looking mighty toasty in his car. I haven't had pigs in a blanket since I was a child. I'll probably burn my building down trying to make them when I get home. What a way to end the night. Local man found burnt to a crisp, blazed by the inferno. Haven't been able to ID the remains. All that was found was two frozen fucking feet.

Image taken from here: http://www.flickr.com/groups/impressionists/discuss/72157623868930174/

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ChrisNotes

As some of you may or may not remember back towards the end of November I announced I'd do a week in review sort of thing every Sunday for anyone that wanted to get up on the happenings here at NoFU. The wise and prophetic Kathryn left this comment on that inaugural edition of ChrisNotes:

My first thought upon seeing this here post was, "He'll never be able to keep it up."

I thought this in the nicest possible way and should clarify that I know without a doubt that *I* would be unable to sustain such a schedule.

I'm just saying...

Oh, how right she was. Now that the oppressive force of winter has pretty much turned me into a hermit I thought I'd give ChrisNotes another try. Well, that and nothing on my 'Blog Ideas' list  looks particularly appealing to me at the moment. Feel free to skim through and check out what interests you.

Announcements:

Responding to Comments:
As some of you know, I started replying to comments via email Thursday. If you haven't noticed this you probably either don't check your messages or your blogger profile isn't linked to your email address. If you want to allow people to respond to your comments via email then go to your blogger dashboard, click edit profile and then check the box next to "Show my email address".

If you don't have time to reply, believe me, I won't take it personally, or if you just find me creepy let me know and I'll stop replying to your comments. Much less paperwork than a restraining order that way. A few bloggers I know do it and I figure if you are taking the time to read and comment on my blog the least I can do is reply.

New Logo:
I've had it for a couple weeks already so this isn't really a "new" development. I went with No.FU because it's an acronym for Notes From Underground. I was going to go with NFU but I didn't want to get sued by the National Farmers Union. Plus, I'm immature so I still laugh when swear words are implied. Look at my graphic design prowess. LOOK AT IT!!!

The Week in Review:

Monday I pretty much cried into my beer about the Bears losing last Sunday in It Hurts. Still a bit depressed over that. Tuesday (Rahm Emanuel For Mayor ... Maybe Not.) I talked about the mayoral race in Chicago and Emanuel getting kicked off the ballot. The Illinois State Supreme Court has since said he is eligible to run. Wednesday I posted State of the Union (2011) and shared my thoughts about the President's speech.

On Thursday I told you all my new pen name and my ridiculous reasons for even having one in Christopher Allen. I've since learned that some jerk-off named Kris Allen won American Idol. I'm going to try and sue him to get him to change his name. He doesn't really deserve the name Chris if he's going to spell it with a K anyway. Friday I put up Revolutionary Excitement in which I talked about the future of democracy and human rights in the Middle East. Then Saturday there was talk of babies, shoes, a thought experiment and a very interesting debate in my blog Babies vs. Shoes.

Go Look at This!

Traveler@large over at the The Post Modern Talk-o posted a silly, yet educational, video blog (or vlog for all of you in the know) about some cultural differences between France and the United States that I really got a kick out of. Click here and go watch!

David over at Brits in the USA put up a very insightful post about the past, present and future of Egypt that was a lot more interesting than what I wrote about the country. Click here to give it a read!

Random Tweet of the Week from @ntsfrmundergrnd : 

Comment of the Week:
Jayne over at Suburban Soliloquy added this poignant response to State of the Union (2011):

I had a lot of mixed feelings about Obama's SOU. I was disappointed he didn't mention gun control issues, and didn't spend enough time on secondary education, which is woefully inadequate in this country. (In fact, he made it sound much better than it really is.)
What he did quite skillfully, though, by way of examples, was to talk about a certain value system (whether American or not) that this country (its people) sorely lacks. Until the good people of this country get out from behind their XBoxes, TV's, away from mass media, away from mass consumption, away from the idea of instant gratification and throwaway everything, and decide to make a major shift in their priorities.
And I think we need to start at ground zero: eduction. Unless that happens, this country is going to hell in a handbasket (to quote... I don't know who). There is no overnight fix, we may not see the changes we desire in our lifetime, but we have the ability to start making small changes now that can, and hopefully will, affect future generations for the better. That's right, you may never see the benefit of your actions, but you may help to preserve, for your children or grandchildren, what little is left of this world.
Don't leave anything to the politicians. Become the change you want to see in the world, and spread it around.
(Sorry, Christopher - I think all this white stuff is getting to me.)

Netflix Stream Movie of the Week: Wild China.

Because China has been a closed society for so long you never really get to see nature shows from the once mysterious country. I was blown away at how incredible the Chinese wilderness is. Sadly, with China marching so fast towards modernity much of what is featured in this documentary is in danger and may not survive long. If you enjoy nature programs at all you owe it to yourself to check this one out. Click here to read the full review.

Next Week at NoFU (probably): 

•  My take on everyone clamoring to put the dollar back on the gold standard.
• Another bible blog. This one on Ecclesiastes.
• A review of Charles Dickens Great Expectations.
• Some creative writing.

Well there you have it another edition of ChrisNotes. I hope you enjoyed it because if history is any indication you probably won't see it again for a couple months. Also, if you have any random comments or questions you'd like to ask me feel free to do so.

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Babies vs. Shoes

I was watching a documentary on philosophy the other night and one of the professors being interviewed was the controversial Peter Singer. He is apparently quite interested in the study of applied ethics and in his talk he put forward a rather interesting thought experiment which I'd like to paraphrase and share with all of you.

You are walking on a path around a shallow pond. There is no one else around but you hear crying and see a baby that is going to drown if you don't intervene. Although there is no possible way for you to get harmed by saving the baby you are wearing very expensive clothes and shoes and there is no time to remove them or else the baby will drown. Obviously, damn the clothes you save the baby, right? Pretty sure 99.9999% of the people on earth would.


So why do people spend so much money on luxury goods when there are children in the world whose lives would be saved for the price of that Coach purse you've been eying all month? From a personal, ethical perspective isn't it morally reprehensible to buy those shoes when the money could go to saving the life of an impoverished child? 

I'm not trying to single out women here, that's the way Singer framed the thought experiment. Read it again but substitute phallic-shaped sports car for expensive clothes if gender equality (in stereotyping) is your thing.

Very curious to hear everyone's thoughts. It makes me think I should give more, but I also couldn't live in a world where women didn't walk around in expensive little black dresses.

Images taken from here and here.

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Revolutionary Excitement

What an exciting time to be alive.

As a history buff and a hopeless romantic I've heard those words spoken longingly and with love by representatives of generations past, but I've never even considered uttering them myself. I'm beginning to think I'm a fool for never even making an attempt.

A dictator has been toppled in Tunisia. There was no bloody military coup and no bombs were dropped on bruised and battered cities. Patriots, in the truest sense of the word, spontaneously and peacefully rose up, spoke out and demanded democracy and human rights. Nothing can defeat a united people with a righteous cause.

As I write this, a courtship is taking place between Nobel Peace Prize laureate Dr. Mohamed ElBaradei and the hundreds of thousands of protesters working to defeat the iron-fisted, Egyptian autocrat, Honsi Mubarak. While ElBaradei has admittedly had his ups and downs in the Egyptian political arena, if he is accepted by the Egyptian people as a leader of their revolution, a powerful force would be formed that even the most strong-armed techniques would be unable to defeat.

Revolutions and good ideas tend to spread like wildfires. There is no greater idea than the universal human rights of men and women. Last week human rights were fought for and won in Tunisia. This week the good fight is being fought in Egypt. Next week will we see revolution in Iran?. Before you know it the oppressed peoples of Saudi Arabia and beyond will be free from tyranny. It isn't as impossible as it seemed a month ago, is it? A good idea can go a long way.

For far too long the people in that region of the world have suffered under imperial rule and then tyranny from within after they gained independence. Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Thomas Jefferson are alive right now in every oppressed nation of the world. Instead of being patronizing, or writing everyone in the Middle East off as terrorists, we need to support our brothers and sisters in their fight for freedom and human rights.


Image taken from here: http://www.csmonitor.com/CSM-Photo-Galleries/In-Pictures/Egyptian-protests/%28photo%29/333928

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Christopher Allen

Last week the lovely and talented Elle Strauss wrote an interesting blog in which she talked about why she decided to create a pen name. Her reasons made a lot of sense, mine won't.

For the last week I've been trying to come up with a good pen name, but all I could muster was Max Power. I found it strange that I couldn't think of anything because my brain is generally pretty good at coming up with random stuff that will be of little actual use. Today I realized why I was blocked: I have an unnatural obsession with my real name.

Unlike most kids, when I was in middle school I wasn't covering my notebooks with the name of any eighth grade crush. No, they were filled with the name of my only lover at the time: myself. I displayed textbook narcissism in all of my textbooks from an early age. Then it hit me, I can use at least part of my real name, just not all of it. My real name is Christopher Alan R***** but Alan doesn't sound very last namey so I'm going to go with Christopher Allen.

You're probably thinking to yourself why even have a pen name if you love your real name so much? Mostly because I don't want my mom to read blog posts like this, this and this. I know she Googles me, she's told me so. Now, onto the real reasons I think having a pen name will be cool.

I'm six feet tall and back problems run in my family. I don't plan on having a book published anytime soon but just in case I get on a trashy reality show and it leads to a book deal I want to be ready. When I walk into a bookstore to pick up a copy of my book the last thing I want to happen is that I throw out my back reaching for the bottom shelf where they keep all the R's. I'll be right on top with all the other A's.

One Night Stand Insurance. Now this is purely theoretical because I am a gentleman and a scholar, but, if by chance I'm out having a night on the town, hit the sauce a little too hard and pull out the incredibly shameful "I'm a writer and I'm in talks to have my novel turned into a movie" line I could use the name Christopher Allen. Then, the next morning, if I happen to find out that she owns more cats than pairs of panties I can sneak out without worrying about whether a friend request from her will pop on facebook the next day.

It'll make me feel like a bad-ass. The only time people ever call me Christopher Alan is when I'm in trouble. If people start calling me Christopher Allen all the time I'll feel like a bigger rebel than Brando in The Wild Ones (sorry folks Dean sucks).

So what do you think? Do you, or would you, use a pen name? If so, what would it be? Are there any cool reasons for having one that I'm forgetting about? 

UPDATE: So apparently Kris Allen is the name of the guy who won American Idol in 2009 which is really making me reconsider this name! When I went on Wikipedia I looked up Christopher Allen and Chris Allen and didn't really see anyone that famous, this is disappointing. 

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State of the Union (2011)

You know what the most underrated benefit to running a blog is? It's really easy to go back in time. I had no idea what Obama's last State of the Union address was like so I dug into my archives to read my reactions to last year's speech. It turns out (and this is from a good source) that last year's address was very combative and he took on just about everyone. I find this to be strange, and if I didn't trust the author so much I'd probably dispute his claims. After all, when I think of Obama I automatically think calm, soothing thoughts.

Last year he was trying to wrap up the loose ends on his big promise to reform the health care system. This year it seems he's more focused on one of his other big promises: changing the tone of political discourse.  

We've been waiting for this new civility for two years and lately we've actually seen some of it (despite a terrible tragedy being the catalyst). President Obama gave a very unifying speech last night. He put forward an agenda that both sides should be able to find agreement on. He finally appears ready to make good on his promise of change and for a while there I think everyone was ready to drink the kool-aid. Hell, his speech even brought the leader of the opposing party to tears (which admittedly isn't as hard as one would think).

Who knows, maybe that emotional response could make Speaker Boehner pause and put country before party. Maybe he will embrace the parts of the Obama agenda that he can sell to his constituency. Maybe some real work will get done over the next two years. Maybe I should remind myself that I'm an atheist and that I don't believe in fairy tales. Or, perhaps, real change does start with the hope that seemed so tangible two years ago, so utterly destroyed last year, and strangely possible right now?

If we really do want things to change, we have to change. It won't be done for us. Each and every one of us needs to look in the mirror and decide what kind of country we want to live in. Do we want an America that prefers hyperbole to results? Or, do we want to live in a country where people aren't afraid to roll up their sleeves and get things done? Perhaps I'm just an optimist and we are in fact, doomed. But even if it was only for a few moments, for just one night, it felt really good to think that we are a united nation on the rise.

Image taken from: http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2011/0126/Obama-State-of-the-Union-2011-US-must-win-the-future-through-innovation

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Rahm Emanuel for Mayor... Maybe Not.

As my fellow Chicagoans and those of you that closely follow politics may have heard, the Illinois State Appellate court has ruled that Rahm Emanuel does not meet the residency requirements and must be taken off the ballot for the upcoming election for the mayor of the City of Chicago. I won't get into all the legal details because all it really boils down to is that because he was living in Washington the last two years he doesn't qualify to run as mayor even though he was serving at the pleasure of the President of the United States.

I know that if you read what the election law says its pretty clear that you have to maintain residence in the City of Chicago for at least 1 year prior to the election and he rented his home out. He was eligible to vote in Chicago and paid income taxes in Illinois even though he was working for the President in Washington. While I don't entirely disagree with the Appellate court's ruling, I do think this is an exceptional case. He was born in Chicago, he served 5 terms as a Congressman from a Chicago district and only left because he was called on by his country to serve in the federal government.

I was planning on voting for Emanuel. I've always liked him despite (or because of) his strong arm tactics and the influence he has been able to gather for himself. You can't really make it as Mayor of Chicago without a strong personality and extensive political connections. It may be shocking to some but from an institutional perspective the position of Mayor of Chicago is a relatively weak one. The power all resides with City Council and to be honest I don't trust City Council to do anything right when left to their own devices. I know I won't win any good governance points for this but I kind of like that Emanuel would have the ability to keep them in line and actually get things done much like Daley and his father before him.

I also like that he yells at people a lot. For some reason, that just seems like something the Mayor of Chicago should be good at. Perhaps Gery Chico and Carol Mosley Braun should have a yell-off at the next debate to see who I think deserves my vote. Here's one of the many rants by Daley to illustrate what I'm talking about:

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It Hurts

That game fucking sucked. I know it. You know it. Everyone that isn't from Wisconsin knows it. It made me sad. Really fucking sad.

I was at my cousin's wedding yesterday. Right on the border of Wisconsin and Illinois. It was a beautiful wedding. Her parents came in from Israel, they didn't know how monumental the day was. Of course, they did though. Prettiest bride I've ever seen. The saving grace was seeing my cousin see the girl that'll keep him happy for the rest of his life. It was a great time. I did the electric slide till the soles of my shoes wore out my soul. But, I'm fucking sad. I'll give you this advice ladies. Don't have your wedding during the playoffs if you want the day to be all about you. Or else it might look something like this. Yea, I know the picture sucks but you get the idea. All you can see is the back of my dad, but believe me, there were thirty people in the bar at all times.

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The Contented Atheist: On Leaps of Faith

One of the biggest problems I have with monotheistic religions is the way God wants you to put your trust in him unconditionally. A wise friend once told me never to trust anyone that says trust me. I can't really get my head around the idea of believing in something there is no evidence of just because some book said I should. Am I less gullible than everyone else or just less trusting? Is it even conceivable, given the makeup of my personality, that I could ever really make the proverbial leap of faith?

Are cynics destined to be atheists? Are we the comical curmudgeons that are afraid to dive in head first and get a little wet? I'm a naturally rational person. When I want to do something wild, as I'm known to do from time to time, I have to first rationalize letting go of common sense for the night. My brain and I have a little discussion that goes something like this:

Me: It's been a tough week and I'm stressed as hell.
Brain: Tell me about it, I can't wait to relax and recharge.
Me: We do that every weekend. It's that time of the month Brain. We need beer and loose women!
Brain: Fine, have a beer, but you realize you're slowly killing me right?
Me: A beer? I was thinking more like 12.
Brain: You cruel fuck.
Me: Stop being a diva, you know you like the feeling too. If you let me have my fun when we get back at 6 AM I'll let you write one of those random (expletive deleted) posts you write when we're sauced.
Brain: Well... that was fun.
Me: So, what are we going to do today, Brain?
Brain: The same thing we do everyday, try to take over the world! Err, I mean I'll turn off the common sense nodes now and we'll go have some fun.

Once I convince myself that I'm allowed to do irrational stuff for the night my inhibitions and rational nature run for cover and I allow myself to live a little. I know I have the ability to be pretty irrational. It's inside me, but it's fleeting. Once I wake up I'm back to being rational. I immediately map out the most efficient way to get Mexican food.

I could take that leap of faith for a night (as my liver would testify). I could go all-in right now and convert to Islam, Catholicism or Judaism and fully believe in what I was doing at the time if I really felt like it. When I woke up the next day though I'd just shake my head, dust myself off and go get a torta.
_______

For previous editions of The Contented Atheist click here.

Image taken from here: http://thundafunda.com/33/animals-pictures-nature/leap-of-faith-adelie-penguin-pictures.php

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Year Two

Today marks the second anniversary of President Barack Obama's presidency. Feels like forever, doesn't it? I can't even remember who the last President was. I'm pretty sure that eight year blackout was intentional though. Remember two years ago when we were all ready to drink Obama's bathwater? Well, we were young and idealistic way back then, plus the Republican party still exists somehow. I still haven't figured out why they exist. I mean, what has a Republican really ever done for you? Honestly, I can't think of one positive to come from the Republican party for regular people since Eisenhower left office. Reagan and Bush II ran up deficits unheard of in the history of the universe but you know, Obama adds to the deficit and he's Hitler. One of those mysteries of the universe I suppose.

Republicans winning the House during the midterm elections was a reaction to the economy still being shitty. I get it, I really do. When you're broke you don't remember anything before your last paycheck. Two years ago I felt like common sense had finally fucking won. We actually elected a sincere guy with a level head during a time when the sky (OK, Wall Street) was literally falling. Fast forward two years and shockingly enough Obama has done everything humanly possible to do what he told us he was going to do and people hate him for it.

He easily could have just coasted along, done nothing, been reelected in 2012 and we would have started bottling his bathwater and selling that shit. He didn't though. He risked his entire political career on trying to give the 50 million Americans without health care some coverage. During my 29 years of life I've had health care for 9 of them. What is really so awful about making sure the lower-middle class has health insurance? This isn't a government handout the way it is portrayed. People living in poverty have Medicaid. Old people have Medicare. The upper and upper-middle class get sponge baths on demand while people like my Dad who busted his ass 60 hours a week could only take his family to the doctor if it warranted the emergency room.

You know what I think we're most forgetful about? Having a national agenda that is trying to make things better for the middle class. It hasn't happened in generations so when we have it we don't even know what it looks like. The left is pissed off because he hasn't been able to do everything he wanted. The right is pissed off because he has done some of what he wanted. You know how that makes me feel? Great. If the outliers are all unhappy then that means those of us living near the mean have a chance.

Image taken from here: http://our-daily.com/obamas-birthday-without-family/360/

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Che

She called her vagina Che. She said it was revolutionary. I raised my eyebrow and tilted my head as she raised her leg and arched her back. I saw it. Mustache and full beard. It had the aura of idealism and the aroma of the jungle. She said it fed the hungry. I didn't believe her, until I saw the stretch marks.

She called me Fidel, mumbled something about my cigar and asked if there was someplace we could go. I said I didn't have any money. She rolled her eyes, walked away and told me freedom isn't free.


Image taken from here: http://www.analitica.com/bitblio/che/default.asp

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Chronicles of Chicago: Buildings to Die For

In the 1950's and 1960's 'urban renewal' was a buzzword in all of the older cities in America and Chicago was no exception. Countless architectural treasures were demolished during this time period in the name of progress. In the early 50's a man named Richard Nickel happened to take a photography class and one of his early assignments was to photograph the architecture of Louis Sullivan.

Sullivan is known as the father of the modern skyscraper. Combining technological advances like the steel frame building with a city ready to rebuild after the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, Louis Sullivan was able to become one of the most influential architects in history. After his death, his legacy was carried on and taken in different directions thanks to his most famous pupil Frank Lloyd Wright. He is credited with the phrase "form ever follows function" which has become influential in not only architecture but all forms of design.

While Sullivan was witness to his skyscrapers going up at a rapid pace, sixty years later Richard Nickel was racing to document them before they came down. Eventually, Nickel had become so emotionally involved in the work of Sullivan that he took a stand and tried to get the demolition of the Garrick Theater stopped in court. Sadly, he failed and the beautiful building was turned into a parking lot. He then turned to the preservation of the old Chicago Stock Exchange. When he realized he couldn't stop the demolition he worked feverishly with other like-minded people to save the interior of the building when a stairwell tragically collapsed and killed him.

He did not, however, die in vain. His work became a major impetus for the preservation movement in Chicago and many of Sullivan's remaining buildings have survived. Below I've compiled some Richard Nickel photographs I've found on the internet. Click the images for their sources.

The Garrick Theater

From the Garrick Theater

Garrick Before

Garrick After

Carson Pirie Scott Building. Still standing.

Old Chicago Stock Exchange and where Richard Nickel died.

Thanks in part to Nickel's efforts the entrance to the Old Chicago Stock Exchange was preserved and put on display at the Art Institute of Chicago.

They were also able to save the original interior from the stock exchange trading floor and have rebuilt it within the Art Institute of Chicago.

For previous Chronicles of Chicago click here.

Sources: The Richard Nickel Story http://www.wttw.com/main.taf?p=1,7,1,1,32
Richard Nickel and the Garrick Theater http://www.artic.edu/aic/collections/exhibitions/LouisSullivan/GarrickTheater

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Take Action

Dear Representative,

As I sit here penning this letter on a holiday reserved for self-reflection and societal examination I am reminded of this excerpt from Martin Luther King's Letter From Birmingham Jail:

I had also hoped that the white moderate would reject the myth concerning time in relations to the struggle for freedom. I have just received a letter from a white brother in Texas. He writes: "All Christians know that the LBGT will receive equal rights eventually, but it is possible that you are in too great a religious hurry. It has taken Christianity almost two thousand years to accomplish what it has. The teachings of Christ take time to come to earth." Such an attitude stems from a tragic misconception of time, from the strangely irrational notion that there is something in the very flow of time will inevitably cure all ills. Actually, time itself is neutral; it can be used either destructively or constructively. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of good will. We will have to repent in the generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co-workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right. Now is the time to make real the promise of democracy and transform our pending national elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. Now is the time to lift our national policy from the quicksand of LBGT injustice to the solid rock of human dignity.

As you may have noticed I replaced "colored" and "racial" with LBGT to illustrate the point that although Dr. King's words were written in 1963 they are still relevant to the civil rights struggle of our generation. Millions of hard working gay and lesbian Americans are denied the right to express their love and commitment to each other through the institution of marriage despite having lasting bonds that any rational man or woman would accept as legitimate. Slowly some states and the national capitol have begun to allow gay marriage, but for millions of others that right is all too far away. Can you imagine, sir, if you had been denied the right to marry your wife? Would you not yell from the highest mountaintop that you deserve the right to marry and the right to marry now? Then how can we as a nation, in good conscience, deny millions of men and women that very right?

As Dr. King taught us, those that sat on the sidelines while injustices occurred were just as complicit in maintaining the status quo as those whom spewed bile and hatred. As a public official you will be judged by history on the actions you take as well as by the actions you do not. As an enlightened individual I know you are well aware that the people of tomorrow do not look kindly on those that stood on the side of injustice and inequality in the past. I hope that this knowledge will not be forgotten on this day of individual reflection and that you will formulate a plan to take outward action on this pressing civil rights issue.
________

On a holiday filled with platitudes and lip service to the ideals of Dr. Martin Luther King I feel it is disingenuous to celebrate his contributions to American life without taking action when there are pressing civil rights issues we are facing right now. Rather than help maintain the status quo I've decided to take the modest action of writing my Senators, Congressman, State Representatives and Governor on the issue of gay marriage and spread the word the best I can. I urge you to do the same.

Writing your Senators and Representatives is really easy. You can do it all online, I'll give you the links. If you don't have the time to write a letter of your own by all means feel free to copy and paste mine in it's entirety or even just the parts you like and make it your own. It'll only take you a few minutes, I promise. I'm aware one letter won't make a difference but enough letters will. In this volatile political time when Congressional seats are as up for grabs as musical chairs every vote does count. Tell your Congressman how to earn yours.

To write your Senator click here.

To write your Representatives click here.

To sign the Million for Marriage petition click here.

To read Martin Luther King's Letter From Birmingham jail in it's entirety click here.

Image taken from here: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Write-a-Love-Letter-Sex-Homework

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Bear Down

The sweet Bears cake my little sister baked for my birthday last month. Da Bearsssss.

Well ladies and gentleman the NFL playoffs offically start today when the Seahawks square off against a team from a midwestern city whose name starts with a 'C' ends with an 'O' and in the middle is 'hicag' and is known as Da Bears. I am aware that some other teams have played other games already but let's be honest, they all suck so those games don't matter.

Whenever Da Bears are in the playoffs I always make sure to watch some of the classic SNL Super Fans skits to get warmed up and I thought I'd share them with the world.

Oh, and who would win in a fight between Ditka and God?

It's a trick question, Ditka IS God.

Bears 72, Seahawks 3

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(expletive deleted)

I've got a problem with perfection. I want to reach it but my arms get tired. Shut the (expletive deleted) up. I hate you. I really do. If I had bigger (expletive deleted) I wouldn't have this problem. This is reverse sexism you (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) rainbow suspenders wearing (expletive deleted) son of a (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) sociopath. Why would you push me to this point? You know I don't care. I know you don't care. We have better (expletive deleted) things to do you (expletive deleted) pretty (expletive deleted) sexy (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) but remember that I'll always admire and respect you. At least until you (expletive deleted) me.

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Guilty

I've got a bit of an addictive personality, it's a genetic thing. If I wasn't so fickle I probably would have died from overdosing on something by now. I keep balance in my life by having many addictions to many different sorts of things. The thinking being that if I get addicted to something like say, blogging, it'll give my liver a break for a couple months. I'll do something intensely for a while and then quit cold turkey when I find a new flavor of the week. I've been through many different addictions over the course of my life. Jazz music, photography, pot, crazy women, cycling, tobacco, zombies, alcohol, pork chop sandwiches from Maxwell St., various pharmaceuticals, Bob Dylan, writing, collecting DVD's, dead Russian writers, newspapers, politics and if I ever build up a big enough bankroll I'd like to take up baccarat James Bond style.

So when I received The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award from Penny Lane (who was a total enabler when it came to getting addicted to Twitter) and read that the requirements were to name 5 guilty pleasures I thought "pfffft no problem, where's my mic so I can thank Jesus and accept this award?".

Then a few days later Tara gave me the Stylish Blogger Award. Now I've only just come across Tara's blog recently but needless to say she's got damn good taste and from what I've read so far she's interesting too.

Now that I've got more awards than a Chinese freedom fighter in a prison camp I should get on with fulfilling my duties. Since one of my addictions is also cutting corners I decided that I'd combine the requirements for the two awards. Instead of listing five guilty pleasures and seven facts about myself I'm going to go ahead and list seven guilty pleasures because I've got plenty to spare.

Streaming movies on Netflix. I'm a total geek when it comes to the awesome service that Netflix supplies. I hardly watch TV at all anymore. If I'm need of entertainment I just fire up the old Xbox and I'm in movie watching heaven. I even started another blog where I review all the crazy s*** you find on Netflix because I want to spread the awesomeness to the world.

Asinine Arguments. My immediate and extended family don't interact like normal people. They show love by trying to humiliate each other in arguments. Instead of well wishes and holiday cheer my family sits around raising their voices and making angry wagers. For example, about 15 years ago my grandpa got it in his head somehow that pigs and bears are related. My mom of course countered that it was ridiculous (it is). My mom wagered a steak dinner. My grandpa argued that it wasn't enough. Lobster must be wagered! They looked in the library and found they weren't related. No, that wasn't good enough. They actually wrote to National Geographic to settle the bet. Surprisingly, they wrote back and confirmed how ridiculous it is to think that pigs are related to bears. My grandpa paid up but to this day the argument still comes up at family functions. Growing up in an environment like that I've become a wicked devil's advocate and can argue nearly anything from any side if I at least have one or two facts on the subject. It gets really ugly and nasty if I forget that not all people relate verbal pugilism to love.

The RZA, the GZA, Ol Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghostface Killer and the M.E.T.H.O.D. Man! Yes, ever since I picked up the Wu-Tang Clan's classic Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) from Camelot back in 8th grade and heard Can't It Be All So Simple I've been a die hard fan of the Wu. I even spent months tracking down the movie Shogun Assassin so I could finally watch the film featured in GZA's Liquid Swords. I just picked up Ghostface's Apollo Kids which I'm indulging in now.  

Sauteing Onions. I don't know what it is but I absolutely love sauteing onions. It's like a form of meditation for me. 75% of the pleasure I get from cooking comes from sauteing onions. Yea, I don't get it either.

Comic Book Cartoons. If you're around my age you may or may not remember all the awesome comic book cartoons that were on Saturday mornings when I was 10 or so. X-Men was my favorite but Spiderman, Batman and The Tick were all pretty awesome too. I was flipping through the channels last spring and saw that Toon Disney had the old X-Men cartoons on and you better believe I DVR'd those. Anytime I need to go to a happy place I just pop one of those on and watch Wolverine kick some sentinel ass.

Minecraft. Minecraft is this awesome computer game that is basically legos for grown-ups. The graphics are clunky but there is just something that is so compelling about building all those huge structures you never had enough legos to complete when you were a kid. I've gone on youtube and people have built scale versions of the Empire State Building, the Roman Coliseum and all this crazy stuff. I'm still pretty new to it so I'm mostly just trying to not get killed. Kind of hard to explain so watch the trailer below if you're interested.

Lowriding. Here's one that I'm pretty sure none of you would have guessed but I'm a member of a lowrider car club. You see, I have a second family. I have my real parents who raised me and are totally awesome but I've also managed to acquire a very cool second Puerto Rican family that has adopted me as their light-skinned son. Oh, and let me just say If I had room for another guilty pleasure it would be Puerto Rican rice. That is the best food in the history of the world. Anyhow, since they're all big into the lowrider scene and I became best friends with their son I in turn got into the lowrider scene and this summer we did this to my car:

Here's me and some of the crew trying to look tough:

So there you have it, seven of my many guilty pleasures. Thanks again to Penny Lane and Tara for the awards. And yea, I know I'm supposed to give them out but I suck at picking favorites and breaking the rules is also one of my guilty pleasures.

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America's Flu

I was over at Penny Lane's blog the other day and her post Listen Up! talked about the shootings in Tuscon, the media, and also the youth of America being a driving force in America. It reminded me of something I wrote for another blog on another site back in September of 2006 when I still felt like one of the youth of America and I thought I'd share it with you because it feels strangely timely to me.

America's Flu

   
    I have faith, that my generation, as they are just barely getting their feet in the proverbial door. Will change the ways of the baby boomers. These stuffed suit, smug bastards are leaving & retiring from their positions. It is us, who will fill those shoes. It will get bad, but it will not be too late before we take hold. We are in the information era, we know what is wrong and what is right, and we are making our way to the platform as you read this blog. We have yet to arrive.
    -Cheri

    I'm often cynical, sometimes idealistic. At one of my more cynical moments the lovely Cheri reminded me why I should be optimistic and idealistic still. I personally feel that America has been moving in the wrong direction for a couple of decades. I see what the government is doing now and sometimes I feel like it will always be like this, that it'll continue to get worse. That won't happen, we're good people.

    What is going on right now is hippie remorse. The same people that were once engaging in free love and trying to save the world are now ultra-conservative lunatics. Because of all the LSD perhaps? I saw an interesting article in the paper yesterday, drug use among teenagers is down for the third straight year while drug use among baby boomers is up yet again.

    Our generation isn't like that, we're a lot more level headed than the all or nothing, world peace or war, bleeding heart liberal or ultra conservative schizophrenic baby boomers. All of this neo-con bullshit will fade away as we grow into our leadership responsibilities and as the hypocritical baby boomer generation dies off.

    Our generation, the generation that is informed, the generation with common sense, the generation that doesn't see the world as black or white will clean up the mess the baby boomers have created. Our activism is a different kind of activism. We don't throw eggs at soldiers when they come home because we disagree with the war like they did. We thank our soldiers during our protests. We educated ourselves, we don't have to run to the streets in rage because many of us are working from within to make things better. They don't understand it, they never will. That generation sees things as black and white, they are blind to the color gray. We live in the gray, we aren't afraid of it, we seek to understand it.

    Never has a generation been so educated and able to easily access information. We will use that information the right way, we will fix the excesses of our predecessors. We will heal America. We will heal the world. It isn't just Americans that come from this generation, the entire world is connected now, we see the same thing in the Land of Lincoln as they see in Lebanon. Our generation isn't about division, it is about unity no matter your nation, race, color, religion or creed.

    "It will get bad, but it will not be too late before we take hold."

    In twenty years, America, the woman I love, will get it's medicine and heal from this terrible flu from which it now suffers.
 ___________

In some ways we have arrived. In others there is still a long way to go. We'll get there,  no matter how rocky the path may seem.

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Winter Advice For My Southern Friends

I've seen stories on the news and pictures from blog-land about the amount of snow that's been getting dumped on the south and I figured my southern friends could probably use a little advice on how to deal with snow or winter anthrax as I like to call it. Why winter anthrax, you wonder? Because it's a white powder that will kill you(r soul over the course of a few months). As a born and bred Chicagoan I think I'm uniquely qualified to offer up my friendly advice to those who aren't exactly familiar with getting large quantities of snow dumped on them.

Chicago's snow credentials:

Without question Chicago deals with snow better than any other American city. When was the last time you heard the phrase "Chicago crippled by huge blizzard"? I can tell you actually, 1979. Then Mayor Bilandic didn't deal well with the 88 inches of snow we got that winter. As a result, he was only mayor for a few months after that. Even the kids in Chicago know how to tough it out. Despite averaging three feet of snow a year, Chicago public schools haven't had a snow day since 1999 and it took 22 inches of snow in 24 hours to get that day off.

With that out of the way, here is my guide to braving a winter storm:

Find your (large) crock-pot. If this is one of those rare blizzards in which you are confident you are going to get time off from work (or if it happens during the weekend) you are going to want to prepare enough food to last you a few days. Why so much you ask? Because you are going to be way too damned lazy to prepare three square meals a day and having some leftover Italian beef, soup, BBQ pork, pozole, or stew is going to be a lifesaver. I know it seems counter-intuitive that you wouldn't want to cook with so much free time on your hands but I know from experience. You'll be lucky if your motivated enough to wipe that chunk of potato off of your pajama pants.

Stock up on booze. I'm not talking about wine or beer here, either. By all means, get those too. However, there will come a point when the wine and beer is all gone and then you're going to stand at your window looking out at three feet of snow contemplating whether or not you want to make a run to the liquor store. You aren't going to want to, but you'll go anyway. At this point you're going to be thinking to yourself "damn, I should have listened to Christopher because a cocktail would be damn good right about now". A good rule of thumb is to get one fifth for every adult member of the household. Better safe than sorry.

Prepare the entertainment. Head to the video store and rent a few movies and a TV series that you've been wanting to watch but haven't gotten around to yet. I'd suggest Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, and, I hate to admit it, Lost. I used to make fun of the "Losties" too, but I gave it a shot when I saw it streaming on Netflix during a snowed-in weekend last winter and that shit is addictive. Speaking of Netflix, if you have Netflix and a Wii, Xbox 360 or PS3 you are golden. Set it up to stream and you will have all the entertainment you need.

Shovel. Get out there early and often. I know it sucks but if you don't get out there every few hours you are going to regret it. 15 inches in 24 hours comes out to whatever 24 divided by 15 is, per hour. I'm no mathematician or anything but I can still tell it adds up quick. Last thing you want on your day off of work is to be in horrible pain from throwing out your back. If you have kids even better. Bundle them up like the kid from A Christmas Story and send them out there with shovels. When I was a kid my mom would make a game of it to help motivate us. If I remember correctly it was called "shovel the damn walk if you want dinner".

Dibs. This actually could be folded into shoveling but I think it merits special attention. To my knowledge, the practice of "Dibs" doesn't happen in any municipality outside of Chicago, but I think it should. You know how when you've got your car parked on the street and you need to shovel it out but the plow has already been by a few times so the snow is hard as a rock? It's a pain in the ass digging your car out so you can leave. Then, you get home and some jackass has the spot that you spent an hour cleaning out and you have to dig yourself a new spot. How we handle this in Chicago is by putting a couple lawn chairs or other outdoor furniture in the spot you just cleared out and then when you return your spot will be there waiting for you. It's part of the unspoken social contract among Chicagoans  that your community should consider taking up.

Do nothing. If you've followed the instructions above you're golden. Just sit on the couch, get fat and watch TV.

Side Jobs (optional). If you're out of work or could just use some extra cash call up your uncle Donnie, cousin Lou or even your brother-in-law Enrique with the plow and get out there and start clearing out that white gold for local businesses. You'll make a killing.

Images taken from here, here, here, here, here, here and here. 

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Proverbs

I've got a feeling that when all is said and done Proverbs will be my favorite book in the Bible. Since I started this long and surreal journey through the world's most famous book there have been some really interesting parts and some food for thought but it hasn't really been much of a page turner. To use a Bible metaphor (just to prove that I have been reading it), we'll say that I've been able to take some time enjoying the manna but mostly I've just been wandering in the wilderness. Well ladies and gentleman, once I opened up the Book of Proverbs I reached the promised land.

Proverbs is overflowing with useful wisdom for everyday life that holds up surprisingly well. The emphasis on the importance of knowledge is particularly striking and welcome after reading so much "do what I command, or else" in the previous books. I, and people like me, probably would have been a lot more receptive to religion if church leaders focused more on content like this and less on fairy tales, hell and brimstone and all that hippie acoustic guitar stuff. I don't care if it is religious or secular, I could never imagine subscribing to a philosophy of life that wasn't rooted in common sense and knowledge. I think if people would pay more attention to the lessons taught in Proverbs and worry less about the bits condemning men laying with other men then religion could have a much more positive impact on society than it currently does.

Many people look to the Bible in a time of personal crisis. This is where they should start. I think everyone should give Proverbs a look. If a crotchety atheist like myself can gain some insight from it anyone should be able to. It reads an awful lot like a book of sayings from Confucius or even  your standard book of quotes. And who doesn't love quote books? I'm actually working on memorizing a few of them for when people come to me for advice. For example:

Proverbs 18.2 is absolutely perfect for all of the pundits on cable news: A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing personal opinion.

If a friend of mine is having trouble with his crazy girlfriend I could offer Proverbs 11.22: Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without good sense.

Proverbs 19.8 might be the truest thing I've read in the Bible so far: To get wisdom is to love oneself; to keep understanding is to prosper.

During the latest Lil' Weezy video I can remember Proverbs 13.7: Some pretend to be rich, yet have nothing; others pretend to be poor, yet have great wealth.

If I'm ever unsure about confessing my feelings to a pretty girl Proverbs 27.5: Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

Lastly, Proverbs 29.20 made me look at myself a little differently yesterday and inspired me to write the post "In the Mirror": Do you see someone who is hasty in speech? There is more hope for a fool than for anyone like that.

Some of these Proverbs I used in jest, others I showed in a more practical light, and one even helped me with something in my personal life. They can all be used for different things. When it comes to knowledge and truth, versatility and practicality breed timelessness and that is why these Proverbs, in my opinion, are still valuable today.

By the way, I wrote applications for a lot more verses but in the interest of brevity I didn't post them here. I'll put them in the comments though if you enjoyed them.

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In the Mirror

In a moment of national tragedy, horror and sadness we all search for answers and explanations for the cause of our pain and outrage. When I first heard about the attempted assassination of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and the murder of nine innocent people the first question I asked was "is she a Democrat?". My first statement was "those fucking Republicans and tea-party assholes!". Before I knew any of the details I automatically linked the heated rhetoric from the November elections to this heinous act. I'm ashamed to admit that I thought to myself that this will finally shut those damn tea-partiers up. What sort of inhuman reaction is that?

I'm disgusted with myself for instantly looking at this gruesome crime through a political prism. I didn't shed any tears for the victims. I didn't have a moment of reflection for all of the families affected. The first thing on my mind was a big fat I TOLD YOU SO to the Republican party because I predicted that the violent rhetoric would lead to violence. I don't know if the testy campaign season had anything to do with Rep. Giffords being shot, no one does. What I do know is that a very sick and confused man killed nine innocent people and injured many others.

When soldiers serving in Iraq started coming home in caskets I didn't gloat because I was right and Bush was wrong. I was genuinely sad. I am now genuinely sad for the lost. For the lost lives as well as my lost compassion.

Image taken from: http://www.jimithekewl.com/2009_02_01_archive.html

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Break Time is Over

As I was drearily recycling all the empty bottles and pitching the last of the leftovers last night I vaguely remembered  having a great Christmas, New Years and Birthday. I also remembered that I do in fact have not just one, but two blogs that I used to write in regularly. I admittedly have a lot of brain cells to rebuild (you can do that right?) after all the various parties and holiday debauchery and what better way to get started then by getting the old creative juices flowing.

Not today though. No, definitely not today. This is just a placeholder to remind me that I have to start thinking about stuff that will make me sound smart.

Since I'm way too far behind to catch up on all of the awesome blogs that I've missed these last couple weeks I'd really appreciate it if you pointed me to something brilliant, hilarious or inspiring that you or someone else has written over the last couple weeks. I'll post up any of the links so that anyone else that needs to catch up has some help too. Or, if you can't be bothered with any of that I'd like to hear what you've been up to.

The Recommendations:

Penny Lane:  I'd Like To Thank The Academy... Some of her guilty pleasures and me winning an award. Woohoo!

Loveable Homebody:  Girls Should Just Settle Down. Period. Disney and menstruation. No joke, go look.
Also, Not the Brightest Animals: Book Review of Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris Which as you can tell by the title is a review of what sounds like a good book to me.

Kev D: Focusing on the Present. This is a really funny blog about the hardships of receiving a present, including the crappy ones.

Oliver: Sweet Suffering. Is a post about that enchantress sugar.

Linda  Pochinda: Fucking Pandas. Is about the non-existent Panda-Dog. Geneticists, get on this.

Image taken from: http://gothamist.com/2009/01/02/more_times_square_trash_for_new_yea.php

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