September 28, 2011

The Contented Atheist: On the Weather

Tom Skilling. Best weatherman in the world, prophet, and all around nice guy.
In modern society we have, for the most part, insulated ourselves from the temperamental bitch that is mother nature. Sure, sometimes she gets hormonal and knocks the shit out of us, but in our day-to-lives she is at most an annoyance. In our corner of the world mothers don't have nightmares in the fall because they are worried about their children freezing to death in the winter. If the rivers rise, we have flood insurance. Some, who aren't superstitious about getting hit by lightning, might even go so far as to say we've conquered nature (not me of course).

After living most of my life isolated from the effects of the weather, I always thought the idea that religion was created by people who were trying to make sense of the chaotic weather to be intuitively off. Part of the reason, sure, but not completely. I always leaned towards the idea that religion was started to help legitimize the leaders of society. Then again, that's what you'd probably expect a former political science major to think. This summer I did some roofing on the weekends and I have to say it may have changed my opinion some. Once you get to know people in the trade you come to find they are completely obsessed with the weather. For good reason, too. A week of rain means a week without pay.

I was talking to one of my roofing buddies yesterday about how much trouble this lingering rain is giving him. Basically, it's the end of the month, the rent is due in a few days, money problems lead to marital problems and for some reason these dark clouds just won't go away. He said he almost feels like he's being punished for something. It's irrational, but when times are tough, making that leap is understandable. The vast majority of us have done something that we believe we should be punished for. Guilt is an emotion we've all experienced. It eats at you, it is silent, and many times justice and/or forgiveness never come to bring us closure.

Combine our own need for punishment with seemingly random, punishing storms, throw in a god of thunder for good measure and you can see how religion might come about. It's just another way to make sense of an unpredictable world. If it wasn't for Tom Skilling on Channel 9, I wouldn't be able to figure any of this out either. Actually, I need to tune in tonight because I'm really curious as to why the hell the clouds have been going backwards all week. To hell with Zeus, I've got Tom. The closest thing you'll find to a deity in Chicago. Somehow, that kind of makes sense.

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September 27, 2011

Simplicity

As I was siting here looking over the blog stats that I used to so compulsively check only five months ago, I noticed that the only post that has been getting any hits is about Playboy and the only one getting any comments is about the Civil War. Classy masturbators and angry southerners are the only people visiting my little corner of cyberspace these days. Well, perhaps things haven't really changed that much after all.

The truth is, it's gloomy and miserable outside and that means it's about the time of year for me to start writing again. I have missed writing, but I haven't really missed it all. If that makes sense to you, then you are as confused a person as I am and I suggest you see a mental health professional immediately. Seriously, I wasn't trying to be funny.

Now, I will admit that I'm tempted to write one of those "I promise to be a better blogger" blogs, but I won't. Mostly because everyone hates those fucking blogs. You hate writing them, I hate reading them. They just suck.

Instead of offering up empty blogging promises I will share something that has always been a constant in my life: the pursuit of simple pleasures. After all, this is the season for them. Sandwiched between the excesses of summer and the holidays, we find a time where we can hopefully slow down and enjoy life at a less hectic pace.

For myself, writing is one of those simple pleasures, but so is that goop you feel all over your hand when you reach down into a hollowed out pumpkin. I love the touch of a warm body on a cold night or blazing through a favorite novel over the course of a rainy weekend. Laffy taffy, miniature snickers bars, scary movies, home-cooked meals, little kids in superman capes and Vincent Price will all make me smile at least once in the coming months.

I will enjoy each of those moments completely. I will celebrate their uniqueness and cherish the warmth their sameness brings. That, I can promise.

September 3, 2011

Worthless

I improve the self-worth of the downtrodden. They begin to laugh and smile a little more and pheromones start to fill the air. Eventually they let me push my penis inside them. After that I disappear. I'm not sure if they are the illusion, or if I am.

___________
Image taken from: http://www.sdcitybeat.com/sandiego/article-6490-love-bites.html

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