May 4, 2012

Coping With Stress

The other day I was at a dinner party and the topic of stress came up. By chance, someone there just happened to be a massage therapist. She went around rubbing everyone's back and shoulders for a while and telling them how tense they were and where they kept their stress. She also checked me, but for the longest time she couldn't find a single knot in my back or shoulders. She eventually did find one on the front of my right shoulder. She said that in comparison to the stress level of everyone else in the room, I was pretty much the Buddha.

Once this odd revelation about me being stress-proof came out, the topic shifted. Everyone wanted to know my secret, and to be honest, I did too. I offered that I drink too much and don't take care of myself. Everyone laughed and I had another sip of wine. Then everyone really started prodding me for answers. They asked what I did to keep stress at bay. It all felt odd because I haven't been sleeping well lately and I thought it was probably stress keeping me up. But no, loose as a goose. The real stress-heads in the bunch were starting to get insistent and since I really didn't have any insight I decided to fuck with them. I told everyone I just handle emotions better than everyone else because of my high emotional IQ. Someone called me a sociopath, we laughed. I had another sip of wine.

It went on like that for a while. Someone would ask me a question, I would give an answer with an air of superiority. Eventually, a few of them started getting a little upset or at least annoyed by my answers and attitude. I told them that they weren't really upset with me, they just didn't know how to cope with stress. That frustrated them more. I laughed and had another sip of wine.

When I got home I had an epiphany. I realized that the best way to deal with stress is by stressing everyone else out. That and drinking lots of wine.
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  1. You mean people didn't get a clue when you kept taking sips of your wine? Does wine work better than beer? I am one stressed out mofo and the beer ain't working. By back and shoulders are killing me! Are the beers too heavy? Maybe I should switch to a lighter drink!

  2. Haha!

    We used to make similar jokes about my great-great grandmother, who was still kicking until just a few years ago.

    We said her secret was that she never gave a damn about another human being, and it lowered her stress levels.

    I tried that, but it only worked for a little while. Eventually, it was too hard not to care.

  3. Damn I need to go to your kinds of parties! Although, you'd probably be the irritating kind of person to play Munchkin against. The guy who sits there and plays to mess with everyone else, instead of playing to win.

    I'm going pretend my tea is wine, re-read this post and giggle maniacally.


  4. Extremely easy to see why you are NOT stressed. Those funny people fed right into it.

  5. I have tried my whole life to adopt that cavalier attitude about what others think but I just can't seem to pull it off. I love it!
    So glad to see you writing again, Chris. Your posts always give me a lot to think about.
    Thanks for adding me to your blog list! Quite an honour.

  6. Hello
    Heck yeah this is exactly what I needed! Thanks for the post, This is an extremely smartly written article

  7. Me gusta tu relato y en muchos puntos coincido.
    Me paso el día y ya mas de 20 años oyendo historias tan diferentes y muchas estresantes.Aun las resisto.

  8. haha. lovely epiphany. congrats on figuring out the one true solution to being stress free - giving it to others. :)

  9. Hahaha, I love it that you were bandying about your high EQ as your 'secret to a stress free life'. Too funny... This is my first visit here but I plan on coming back for more.

  10. Hello
    Coping With Stress
    Wonderful! Can I merely say what a relief to uncover someone who essentially knows what they’re speaking about on the internet?


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